The Talents of a Nose

Oh, the things I am yet to learn about my wife...

Yesterday, I made a rather compelling discovery.  While sitting at the Christmas tree recycling site waiting on the tow truck driver,  I learned that Betty Clair's nose is able to laugh.  Yes, you read that correctly, I said her nose is able to laugh.

I've already known for a few years that her nose has the ability to show signs of aggression when agitated.  When she becomes angry or upset (usually due to me) her nostrils will form into a flared shape and typically be held in that position for 2-3 seconds at a time before relaxing briefly and then flaring again.  I often envision little puffs of smoke drifting from her nares when this happens.  If I let her know what I'm picturing it often leads to more prolonged flares.

But back to the laughing part...  

While waiting on the tow truck driver, we were engaged in an enjoyable discussion about the types of people dropping off trees, guessing what they did for a living, and contemplating whether they were able to decorate a pretty tree.  This exchange was humorous and entertaining for both of us, but I noticed that Betty Clair was especially enthralled by our chosen topic, even so much that her nose was producing rapid gyrations with every hearty laugh she gave.  Somehow, this is a phenomenon I have never noticed before.  Furthermore, when I pointed it out to her, it caused me to laugh harder which caused her to laugh harder and led to more nose gyrations.  I'm sure all our fellow recyclers were quite puzzled as to what could be going on in a broke-down Ranger in below freezing temperatures that was so amusing.  Looking back, I'm kind of wondering myself.

If you want an update on the broke-down truck, it goes as follows:

Yesterday, we drove a mile or so down the road to get rid of our Christmas tree now that its purpose has been fulfilled.  After tossing my Christmas tree on top of the recycling pile and not next to it (as anyone who has ever piled limbs before knows is appropriate),  I put the ol' Ranger back in gear and turned around to head back home.  After only an estimated 1.6 seconds into the turn, however, I heard a popping sound as if running over a plastic coke bottle and then noticed a sweet-smelling smoke emerging from under the hood.  I immediately parked it, shut off the engine, and proceeded to call the mechanic who sent out his tow truck driver.  After enjoying our hour-long wait in the pick-up (and being told no more than 30 minutes), the tow truck showed up to take us home and haul my truck off to the mechanic.  They were able to look at it and told me their first impression is that there is something wrong electrically and can be fixed for around $125.  That's not too bad at all, but he also said it may have gotten hotter than I realized.  I sure hope not, but it sure seems hard to shake the Hatcher curse of endless vehicle problems, so I'l probably be in for a rude awakening on Friday.

Buy Now, Buy Now

Have you noticed how everybody and their brother are already coming out with Barack Obama commemorative items?  Click here, here, here, or here for examples.  I have found this phenomenon rather intriguing and have spent some time pondering as to why there is such an abundance of these products.  In doing so, I have developed my own theory.  

I must first mention that these groups will of course say it is because his election is such a remarkable moment in history and his victory deserves to be memorialized forever.  They will say that we must never forget how the rampant racism in America was defeated and we elected a black man to be our leader.  I, however, think their motives are not quite so noble.

I believe these items are being pushed with such fervor because, deep down, the sellers know that this is the only period in history when people will be willing to purchase such trinkets.  They will never sell very well at any other point because his presidency ultimately will not be remembered very fondly.  With unprecedented tax hikes, reckless government spending, and deep cuts in military funding all on the horizon, his policies will prove to be a lasting detriment to the stability and strength of this country.  In other words, people won't like him for very long.   So, naturally, it makes sense to try to get people to buy as many of these collector's items as possible right now while his appeal and consumer demand are still high.  

I don't fault the sellers for encouraging Americans to buy these novelties while they can.  I actually applaud their insight on this issue.  They are very wise in recognizing that their sales pitch will be unusable in the not too distant future.  Their current vigor is actually quite justified.  Heck, Obama himself was pretty clever in already writing his autobiography since he won't have very many enthusiastic readers four years from now.

Tuesdays and Thursdays

As far as I can tell, Tuesdays and Thursdays seem to be the most popular nights in Nashville for any type of programs, games, or other events to take place.  Unfortunately, Betty Clair and I work all day nearly every Tuesday and Thursday, so we aren't able to participate in a lot of these things.

For example, last week I was told about a SEC Alumni basketball league at the YMCA.  I was very excited about this opportunity to display my short white guy skills for everyone.  But to my dismay, all games are scheduled to be played on Tuesday and Thursday nights only.

Just last night, I looked up the schedule for the Nashville Predators and was disappointed to see that all of their upcoming home games are also on Tuesday and Thursday nights.

The Young Auburn Alumni Club here in Nashville also has put a few little shin-digs together for any recent alumni to attend.  However, these have all fallen on, you guessed it, Tuesday and Thursday nights.  Therefore, we've been able to make it to only one of these events since moving here.

I'm not entirely sure why the trend is to have all events take place on Tuesdays or Thursdays.  I suppose these two are generally considered to be the least busy days to begin with.  But, since everyone apparently wants to throw their parties and play their games on these days, that point is becoming inapplicable.

I'm well aware that I probably sound a bit whiny, but this trend is a bit annoying.  I just want something to take place on a Monday, Wednesday, or Saturday so we will be able to enjoy it like everyone else.  This year, I am even going in to work on Christmas Day, which happens to fall on a Thursday.  Oh well, I'll just have to deal with it.  Like Momma always said... Life ain't fair!

Obama Day

Betty Clair and I are about to head to Marion, AL for the weekend to spend some time with family.  I am very excited about getting to visit Marion, which is located in Perry County, because it was the first county in America to institute a paid holiday in honor of Barack Obama.  I will feel truly blessed to be in a town where "the anointed one" is held in such high regard.  

As you will see in the link, Perry County is one of the poorest counties in Alabama, but this is no reason to deny Mr. Obama the privilege of being honored in such a way.  Though the use of county funds is extremely egregious and irresponsible, Obama is very deserving of this recognition.  I am glad the county board is understanding of this fact.

Note:  This was written with a WHOLE lot of sarcasm.

Things Definitely will Change...

...but in no way will it be for the better.

Here is a lovely little example of the "change" we can expect to see with the incoming Obama administration.  This is something everyone should be anticipating, that is if you don't want any clingy little burdens in your life.

New Toy

We got a really cool new toy today!  Click the link to see what it is.  Don't be jealous, though.  If you've been good this year, Santa just might bring you one of your own.

If you are so excited to know what it is and don't want to wait on the link, then I will just tell you.  You should learn to be more patient, though.  Anyway, Betty Clair and I decided to get a new computer this year as our Christmas present to each other, so we have bought a new iMac.  The mall next to my pharmacy has an Apple store, so we went there to get it for the advantage of bringing it home today.  We also saw Faith Hill shopping there with one of her children. 

This computer is really, really cool.  I'm hoping I don't stay up too late tonight playing with it, though.  I do still have to show up for work tomorrow at 7:00.

Coming Around a Bit

After letting it sink in for a while, I am beginning to warm up to the idea of Gene Chizik being the new head coach at Auburn. One comment in particular from one of his former players has helped influence my feelings.

Carlos Rogers, winner of the Jim Thorpe award in 2004, recently said about Coach Chizik,

"With his passion for the game and his commitment to football and his job, I
thought he was the best guy."

That's a pretty strong statement from a guy who probably knows a thing or two about football himself. Apparently, Rogers's time spent as a player under Chizik has convinced him that he is quite capable of being the new leader of the program.

I've also become a little less critical when examining his 5-19 record at Iowa State University. Since ISU is far from being one of the more highly regarded programs in the country, recruiting the most talented kids to play there was probably fairly difficult...especially when you're competing with big names like Texas and Oklahoma. Would Pete Carroll or Urban Meyer have done much better in that situation?

Though his 5-19 record is definitely hard to excuse, he does have the honor of owning both an SEC and a National Championship ring. That alone is pretty admirable. And, yes, I know little Nicky has the same hardware, but he's still suffering from short-man syndrome. Maybe one day, the amazing miracles being produced by stem-cell research will help cure his condition.

Chizik also plans to hit the ground running when it comes to recruiting at Auburn, which is clearly a postive attribute. This should most certainly be a top priority since we have already had several recruits back away from their commitments (seven, I think). Hopefully, his vigor and enthusiasm for this aspect of the job will help encourage other athletes around the South that Auburn will be the best place to go to school and play football.

I understand that I am probably still in the minority with my feelings, but I think once fans realize that players themselves are pleased with his hiring, attitudes may begin to change. I sure hope so, though, because the negative sentiment being broadcast by the fans right now is surely not helping the program.

Side Note: Stem-cell research has never produced a cure for any disease, nor has it ever even come close. Unfortunately for little Nicky, it appears he will have to suffer for many years to come.

Some News

Today, we had to make our way down to Alabama again for another wedding. One of Betty Clair's sorority sisters, Cassi Rhodes (now Cassi Smola), was getting married during her Christmas break from medical school at UAB. The ceremony took place in Birmingham, so the dirve actually wasn't too terrible.

Right before walking in the church, I also learned that Auburn has now hired Gene Chizik as the new football coach. Although I'm honestly not very excited about the move, I am relieved to see this process at last come to an end. While Chizik was successful during his previous years spent in Auburn as the defensive coordinator, he has run into tougher times as the head coach at Iowa State. In his two years there, the team has posted an abysmal overall record of 5-19. In my opinion, there were several other candidates with better resumes (Turner Gill), but I will try not to complain and support the path that our athletic department has decided to follow. I'm not sure how easy that will be though.

The most exciting part of the day happened during the ride back to Nashville tonight. We had the pleasure of seeing seven, yes seven, shooting stars! I had only seen three in my life before tonight, so it was an amazing thing to see seven of them in such a short span. I'm pretty sure I actually saw ten, but some of them were not quite as clear. I guess this is what would technically be called a "meteor shower," but my astronomy knowledge is not sufficient enough to know for sure. Nevertheless, it was a pretty impressive thing to witness.

Got to sleep now. Early service and work tomorrow.

Coach __________

It is actually comical how many and how quickly rumors have spread about who the new head coach at Auburn will be. Currently, I think there have been 7 candidates interviewed for the position, and many more have been identified in various news stories.

I just read on a website where reporters were waiting at the small airport in Auburn tonight to see who got off a plane that came from Texas. There have been stories that Steve Spurrier was spotted on campus by students several times. I'm just waiting on the next tale to be that the legendary Vince Lombardi has been reincarnated and wants to lead our team.

Over the past week, I've probably spent way too much of my own time keeping up with all the updates. Unfortunately, we are still without a coach, but it appears that may be changing soon. I sure hope so. This needs to come to an end so I can do more productive things with my time.

Friends in Low Places

In regard to the controversy surrounding Illinois Governor Blagojevich and the now vacant Senate seat in Illinois, B. Hussein Obama earlier this week said, "I had no contact with the governor or his office and so we were not, I was not, aware of what was happening."

Okay, fair enough.

However, there is another statement out there. On November 23, senior Obama advisor David Axelrod said, "I know he's talked to the governor and there are a whole range of names many of which have surfaced, and I think he has a fondness for a lot of them."

Hmm... it sounds like the well-oiled Obama machine didn't quite have their stories prepared on this one. Since these statements so obviously contradict one another, who could be telling the truth and who is the liar?

For me, it is rather hard to imagine that Obama has had "no contact" at all with the corrupt Illinois governor about the Senate opening. So, yes, if that is true then he would be the liar. He definitely has a lot to gain personally if he can have some influence over who is chosen to fill his old seat. A Senator who agrees with him politically could always be counted on to vote the way Obama wants him to on any issue that comes before Congress. It's only natural that he would let his opinion be known to the governor so he could have this advantage for the next four years.

Even if you want to give Mr. Obama the benefit of the doubt and say that his advisor is the liar, it is still his administration that is engaging in the policies of deceit, and doing so before they even set foot in the White House. It's scary to imagine what they might try to do when they actually are in power. I just got a chill!

At least some of the dirty dealings of other Democrats are finally being revealed, though. Since the mainstream media and the Democratic party are focusing all their efforts on protecting the precious president-elect, we may be able to figure out what some of the others are doing in their spare time.

Dinesh is My Homeboy

During the downpour yesterday, my boredom eventually overcame my unwillingness to deal with the weather and I made a trip down to Books-A-Million to purchase my third Dinesh D'Souza book. The two I have most recently read are Ronald Reagan: How an Ordinary Man Became an Extraordinary Leader and Letters to a Young Conservative. While there, I also decided to buy the George Orwell classic, Animal Farm. I felt I needed to read it again since it is a frequently used reference in other books I've recently finished and I don't remember much of it from the mandated reading of it in high school (quick read-only a few hours yesterday evening).

The D'Souza book I purchased yesterday is titled What's So Great About Chrisitanity. I'm really looking forward to this one. It's a little longer than the other two I've read, but I have plenty of spare time to devote to finishing it.

Here's a short review from Rev. Robert H. Schuller:

“With scholarship and eloquence that reminds me of C. S. Lewis, Dinesh D’Souza addresses the urgent questions of our time, such as ‘Is Christianity believable in the face of the discoveries of modern science and modern scholarship?’ His answer is a resounding yes. More than a decisive refutation of atheist attacks, this is a powerful, affirming, genuinely exciting argument for Christianity. You may want to carry this one around with you.”

As you can tell, this is a book I will probably greatly enjoy. I'll let you know what I think when I finish.

Now it's off to do some Christmas shopping with the wife. Oh, joy!

Baby, It's Cold Outside

The weather here today is pretty miserable, as it has been pretty much every day since early November. The only amount of time I can bear to spend outside is the few seconds it takes me to run from my truck to the comfort a heated building. On most mornings, I am forced to scrape the ice off my windshield so I can drive to work with chattering teeth until my car warms up. The drive home is usually just more of the same. This tends to get old pretty quick.

It makes me wish Al Gore was right in what he has to say about this whole climate change theory. I actually want global warming! Unfortunately, it just ain't happening.

Just for fun, though, let's assume Mr. Gore and the global warming alarmists are correct in their warnings of impending doom from slightly warmer global temperatures. Would that really be such a bad thing? If the average temperature in Minnesota or Maine warmed a few degrees, would you hear many complaints? I think that the residents of these states would be very welcoming of this change. I definitely would if I lived there.

As another positive effect, warmer temperatures globally would also vastly increase the amount of land worldwide that is able to produce sustainable agriculture. This could help with the tragic issue of world hunger, and I'm sure that no liberal wants to oppose feeding the less fortunate. This should be their sentiment, however there's not as much money to be made fighting for that cause...even if it is far more noble and worthwhile.

As I finish writing this, Fox News just showed a meeting of Obama, Biden and Gore discussing the crisis of "climate change." It is very tragic that our new leaders have decided to take advice from this manipulative clown. In so doing, they are displaying either ignorance or avoidance of the truth on this matter. Global warming is not happening, and there is no real, unbiased science to prove it is true. All major studies on this idea are based on skewed and biased data and can be easily refuted with actual scientific facts. America is getting scammed and doesn't even know it.

Now, I think I'm going to crank my truck and let it warm up before I brave the weather and head out for the day. Wasting fossil fuels gives me such a "warm" feeling.

Note: The above picture is not from our time here in Nashville. It is from one of my escapades with Brad Long, Alethea Law, and Alex Gomes while we were exploring the Southwest and learning a little about drugs and eyeballs. I just like it and wanted to add a picture of something "cold" to this post.

Getting Priorities Straight

As you may know, the Auburn University football program is currently without a head coach. After a fairly successful 10-year stint on the Plains, Coach Tuberville decided to resign after posting a disappointing 5-7 record this season. There were also several other coaches in the country who either resigned or were terminated at the end of the season including, most notably, Mississippi State's Sylvester Croom.

The reason Croom's termination is worth mentioning specifically is that his firing caused some in the media to reignite the "controversy" over the insufficient number of blacks who are employed as head coaches at major collegiate programs.

When I first saw the announcement being made on tv, the commentators were becoming hysterical and nearly foaming at the mouth as they threw out statistics about how few black coaches there are compared to black players. Their indignation over this apparently tragic dilemma was made obvious by their gross displays of pity being laid on the black man for not having the same advantages as the white man does in this job market.

Their assumption, however, is completely untrue.

This issue is something that should never even be mentioned in the first place due to the baseless reasoning used to support it. It's not as if any program is intentionally avoiding hiring a black guy to lead their team. If a coach could win games and be a good ambassador for the program, most institutions wouldn't care if he was black, white, green or even polka-dotted. Of course the media is fully aware of this fact, but they wouldn't have any pot to stir if they were to just admit this.

As a matter of fact, the black head coach at Buffalo, Turner Gill, has won games and made considerable improvements to the program he inherited at that school. As a result, he is receiving vast amounts of interest from other more historically prestigious schools around the country, including Auburn University. These schools don't seem to care what color his skin is. They just want a good coach, and he has proven to be just that so far.

Would I have a problem with Auburn hiring a black guy as the head football coach? Not at all! Would most football fans have a problem with a black man holding this position? I seriously doubt it. Would they or I have drawbacks if he didn't win games or run a clean program? Of course we would. I wouldn't care if E.T. was our coach if he produced results in the win column and encouraged kids to graduate. I can't help but feel most fans, alumni, and administrators feel the same way on this issue.

Side Note: Turner Gill is currently my personal favorite to fill the vacancy at Auburn. His record at Buffalo is probably proof enough, but I also like his comments in this video (especially at 2:13).

The Juice is No Longer Loose

I am so pleased right now. Finally, O.J. Simpson will have to actually pay for a crime. Even though it is nowhere nearly as offensive as his other highly publicized escapade, at least he is being punished for something.

As I was watching the sentencing earlier, I also found it very refreshing that the judge described him as "arrogant and ignorant" on national television. The choice of "arrogant" was particularly gratifying. Is there really a better word to describe this man? The fact that he has avoided the imposed penalties for his other previous conviction is, as the judge says, extremely arrogant. Does he really think that just because he was a minority and a former athlete, the rules don't apply to him? Well, if he goes on precedent, he was probably pretty safe in thinking this way. Heck, he was even able write a book about it.

O.J. also decided to make a personal statement in this case, something he didn't do in his past murder trials. If I had not already understood how vain and shallow he really was, he almost could have convinced me that he was remorseful for his actions (possible future in Hollywood?). However, if mudering two people years ago still has never seemed to have any effect on his conscience, why should anyone believe he feels bad about simply trying to steal some sports memorabilia?

On a somewhat related note, I was a little saddened to see all the ignorant, race-baiting O.J. defenders standing outside the courthouse with signs saying things like, "Free O.J. You Black Male Haters." I guess once you've already claimed your welfare check on the first of the month, you have nothing better to do than go downtown and play with markers. They probably even received a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts to produce these inspired works. Yeah, you can go ahead and label me as a racist, but do you think these same people would still be making signs if it was John Elway or Curt Schilling on trial? Be honest now!

Random Thoughts of the Day

If you didn't already know, yesterday was World AIDS Day. Personally, I think this is a very unfair way to treat all the other sexually transmitted diseases in the world. If we are going to celebrate AIDS, I feel that we should also celebrate chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, and syphilis. Liberals should really want to jump on board with this cause since it shows equal treatment to all. Otherwise, people may begin to view AIDS as the "white man" of the STD's.

Who would have thought that poor, little Rosie O'Donnell would have her new vairety show cancelled after just one episode? I'll tell you who should have seen it coming...NBC! Will they ever get the picture? People do not like Rosie O'Donnell! They particularly don't want to see her sing and dance on stage with Alec Baldwin and other clowns. This is not the sort of thing people relate to very well. If it didn't work with Nick and Jessica, it should have been obvious that Rosie couldn't pull it off. To put it simply...duh!

Okay, I'll suck it up and mention the Auburn game this past weekend. First of all, I was WAY off with my prediction. I was just being a good fan and hoping for the best. I did think we could score at least once, though. Oh well! We were just not very good this year. Hopefully, we can make some strides in the offseason with our quarterback production, offensive playcalling, and overall consistency. There will be plenty of time for that since we won't be preoccupied with any thoughts of a bowl game.

Betty Clair and I put up our first Christmas tree on Sunday afternoon after getting back in town from Tallassee. It is relatively large (and heavy) for our modest apartment, but I think it is a good thing when your tree-topper nearly touches the roof. We only had to move a couple pieces of furniture to make it fit. There is also already one present underneath it since William and Sarah are way ahead of the game and have graciously sent out their gifts early.

And, yes, we call it a Christmas tree! Show me a Kwanzaa tree, and I'll think about changing my mind.