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Wow!  It's been quite a while since I've been here.  Actually, it has been over eight months according to the date on that last post about the Masters.

And, many things have happened!

First, we are becoming rather comfortable in our new abode.  Betty Clair has been quite devoted to decorating it and picking out paint colors for me to apply to the walls, which I have done with virtuosic skill.   Unfortunately, there are still more walls in the house just awaiting the appropriate paint swabs to be held next to the sheetrock.  There's no doubt she has more work for me to do.

The yard is coming along nicely, but slowly.  It seemed so much easier to improve yards when someone was paying you to do it.  Now, having to use my own money and spare time to landscape actually makes it seem like... work?  Who knew?  Regardless, I was able to keep my Centipede in the front and St. Augustine in the back at a precise 2 3/4" all Summer long.  I've pulled up all the sago palms and lantana around the house, but I haven't decided just yet how to replace them.  Any suggestions?  The lantana lined the west side of the home and two LARGE palms were directly next to the front steps.  The only remaining shrubs are some good-sized Indian hawthorne anterior to the front porch, but I'm not sure what to do with them yet.

In other non-yard related news, Betty Clair and I have something even more exciting to share.  I know... what's more exciting than listening to me ramble about shrubbery?  She tells me it's more exciting, though.

The news is...

We are expecting our first child in July!

As of today, I think she is about 9 or 10 weeks along.  For more accurate dating, you may have to talk to her.  I'm just estimating that number.

We're extremely excited about our new blessing and look forward to all that is to come with him, her, or even them in the future.  I might need more advice about this endeavor than the landscaping tasks.  We'll have plenty of pictures related to this in the future.  Stay tuned!  (As if you couldn't assume, this story also relates to the painting I still have to do.)

Furthermore, how 'bout them Tigers?  It sure has been a fun football season to be an Auburn Tiger!  Currently, my alma mater is 13-0 and about to travel to Glendale, Arizona to play in the BCS National Championship Game against the Oregon Ducks.

This team has been both exhilarating and exasperating to follow this year.  Many comeback wins by narrow to tiny margins has been a bit much for my young cardiovascular system.  I can't imagine how the older alumni have been able to deal with it *cough*Gregg Hearon*cough*.  Seriously, though, I've been especially impressed with how this team has been able to deal with the off-the-field stories and rumors that have followed our Heisman Trophy winning star quarterback, Cameron Jerrell Newton.  The team has seemed unfazed, as they told the media they were, by all the drama and advanced through the season without a blemish on their record.  I sure hope they can do it at least one more time on January 10.

In other news, Betty Clair and I have also both resigned from our positions with our former employer and moved on to happier places.  I won't name names, but a friend and colleague of ours has said that our former company's name is an acronym for Come Visit Satan.  But, I repeat, I'm not naming names or holding a grudge at all.

Betty Clair is now working at Mobile Infirmary Medical Center and I have recently found employment with "The Beef People."  We are both much happier with our new jobs and don't regret our decisions at all.  The "Limited Bladder Relief" policy and insanely high stress levels present from our last employer's working conditions wouldn't have been very convenient for Betty Clair's pregnancy.

Masters Challenge

It's that time of year again...

One of the greatest sporting events in the world is about to take place...

Surrounded by meticulously manicured turf and blooming azaleas in Augusta, Georgia...

The Masters Golf Tournament is taking place!

In honor of this event, I've set up a group on ESPN's website where you can play in the Masters Best Ball Challenge.

The group to I've made for you to join is called Group by Ross.  Is that vain?  You can search for it on ESPN's site or just click the blue highlighted words in the earlier sentence.  The password is "golf" to join the group.

Play if you're not scared of my fantasy sports skills!

Obama is Still a Joke

In this video alone, the smartest American president ever...

• can't name one player on what he claims was his favorite baseball team as a child
• can't name one player on the other team (Chicago Cubs) he mentions as a team with many players he liked
• also says he's an A's fan since he grew up in Hawaii, despite labeling himself a "Southside kid"
• mispronounced the stadium of his "favorite" team by calling it "Cominskey Park"
• pretends to understand the concept of "blue collar baseball" in which the White Sox organization supposedly participates

Some things we can infer from this video...

• Obama is not really a White Sox fan
• Obama is not really a Cubs fan
• Obama simply changes the subject when he can't complete simple tasks like, "Name a player."
• Obama is out of touch with things average Americans can relate to (like naming a player on your favorite sports team).  I know kindergartners that can do that!
• Obama still throws like a girl!  

Seriously, did you see that throw?  My 2 year old niece throws better than that.  I remember Bush putting it right down the middle at these events year after year.  Barack Obama is quite possibly one of the lamest examples of a man I have ever seen, let alone a man who is the leader of the free world.  

Additionally, the only good thing about the NCAA tournament being over is that I no longer have to watch the morons at ESPN drool over Obama's bracket.  They even went out of their way displaying the president's intelligence by pointing out the fact that he correctly picked two of the teams in the Women's Final Four.  Considering the fact that most people could have done that before the women's season even started, that feat is not too spectacular.  He probably does relate better to women's sports, however, since he throws a baseball and shoots a basketball like one.

Maybe we really need to see his birth certificate to check his gender and not his birthplace.

Sweet Home Alabama

Well, I suppose I'll go ahead and make it official by posting it on the blog.

Betty Clair and I are moving to Alabama!

We've found a home in Grand Bay and are actually in the process of purchasing it now.  As it turns out, buying a home is a really complicated process.  Who knew?  Needless to say, Betty Clair is also fairly excited about the prospects of getting to decorate an entire home.  Pray that our bank account copes well with her endeavor.  I'll have pictures of the house for you in a later post.

We'll also still be working for CVS, so that will lend to a smooth transition and relieve us of having to find new jobs.  After discovering that there were two Mobile openings with the company a while back, we felt it was probably a good time to take advantage of the opportunity and make our move.  Unfortunately, we'll lose the luxury of only having to work every third weekend that we now enjoy in Nashville.  However, I won't have to work any more 15-hour shifts, either!  I guess that balances out.

Leaving our stores in Nashville was also something we had a difficult time dealing with in our decision to move.  Since we each work with what we feel may be some of the best pharmacy technicians (and intern) in Tennessee, we struggled a bit with the idea of leaving such good working conditions.  People who work hard and are also easy to get along with aren't always easy to find.  From what I hear, we'll be alright at our new stores in south Alabama, though.

There are plenty of things we'll miss from Nashville, such as the Pancake Pantry, which we enjoyed just this morning while my dear mother was passing through town.  On the other hand, I dealt with enough snow this Winter to last the rest of my life.

All things considered, we are definitely looking forward to the benefits of home ownership and being closer to family... as well as beating my brothers in golf several times this Summer!

Some Costs of ObamaCare

On February 12, 2009, President Barack Obama gave another of his inspirational speeches to Caterpillar employees at the Caterpillar plant in East Peoria, Illinois. During his address, the president asked the audience to recognize that

what's happening at this company tells us a larger story about what's happening with our nation's economy - because, in many ways, you can measure America's bottom line by looking at Caterpillar's bottom line.

Oh, really, Mr. President? Let's just take a look at Caterpillar's bottom line.

Just this past Wednesday, Caterpillar announced that due to the new healthcare legislation advanced by the president and his comrades, the company will have to take a $100 million tax charge in the current quarter. Caterpillar said the $100 million hit will only be a one-time expense, but they are also anxious about the higher taxes and additional expenses that will be enacted with the launch of the new law. That's a lot to swallow considering that Caterpillar also lost 75% of its profit in 2009.

How's that "bottom line" thing working out for you, Mr. President?

Unfortunately, Caterpillar isn't the only business experiencing this new burden. Both AT&T and Verizon, the two largest phone companies in America, are reporting that healthcare reform will cost them millions of dollars. For this quarter alone, AT&T's additional costs will actually reach $1 billion!

Consequently, AT&T said in a government filing on Friday

As a result of this legislation, including the additional tax burden, AT&T will be evaluating prospective changes to the active and retiree healthcare benefits offered by the company.

In other words, we are somehow going to have to account for these expenses and will probably do so by cutting some benefits for our employees and retirees.

Verizon has sent letters to current employees informing them that changes to their healthcare plans are imminent. I hope these workers are wise enough to know that it's not going to be an improvement.

These companies are just beginning of the list of big businesses taking immediate hits from the new bill. Deere & Co., Valero, AK Steel Holding, 3M Co, and others to come are reporting that they will be forced to incur new and substantial expenses.

On the other side, there actually are people out there who see this as a good thing. They believe that these corporations are basically so greedy and evil that they deserve to be taxed like this. Their naive and ignorant minds fail to recognize that AT&T and the others will not actually pay these bills, though. Any person with a basic understanding of economics knows full well that these costs will either be passed on to the consumer or balanced out by eliminating employees. Does anyone really think that's good for the country?

I guess that makes it obvious that some people (Obama, Pelosi, Ahmadinejad, Satan, et al.) don't really want what is good for America. Harsh? I think not.

It looks like Pelosi was right after all. We did "have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it."

I guess we'll also find out she won't be the Speaker much longer, as well.

ObamaCare

Last night, the most devastating piece of legislation ever concocted in this country was passed to thunderous applause by 219 traitors in Washington D.C. With only partisan support from rabid liberal ideologues, complete control of healthcare and at least one-sixth of our economy was given to politicians and bureaucrats who are already out of touch with the desires of American citizens.

As our country proceeds on its downward slide to socialism, many of our leaders fail to acknowledge the devastating effects this will have on our nation. There will be no good to come of this bill. There is no beating around the bush. To think otherwise makes you a fool.

This vote was labeled as "historic," but rather it seems to fall under the category of everything Obama does in that it's historically awful. From his strategies in warfare to his ideas on global warming, the president has repeatedly shown that he may very well be clinically insane. Nothing the man wants to do in this country will ever have a positive outcome. Nothing!

After the vote, Plastic-face Pelosi went on to declare that this new law will be great for small business owners and entrepreneurs. Is she serious? As a pharmacist, I have this little dream of opening my own store in the future and serving the community where I live. Unfortunately, due to the fact that the federal government has atrocious reimbursement rates for healthcare services and will now be subsidizing medical care for the entire country, my dream is basically unattainable. So much for entrepreneurship...

Bart Stupak (D) also proved to America that the idea of a Pro-Life Democrat working in Congress is something that will never happen. His act of treason alone may be the single most egregious of all. After vowing for weeks and weeks that there is no reason he will vote for the bill as it is written, something happened that made him change his mind at the last minute to cast a "yea" vote. He claims that it was our president's promise to sign an executive order outlawing federal funding of abortions, but law experts from left to right claim that this promise, even if fulfilled by the honorable one, will actually not even be worth the paper on which it's written. To pretend Stupid... err, Stupak... is not aware of this fact is plain asinine. He is fully aware of this reality, and it can easily be concluded that there were other favors or goods offered to ol' Bart to force his sudden change of heart.

By the way, did anyone else notice Pelosi's remarks about how she is both "proud" and "humble" about her ability to pass this bill. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't those words basically opposites. It's kind of like Stupak labeling himself a Pro-Life Democrat or a liberal claiming to be intelligent and of sound mind. Funny...

Fortunately, this does mean that many of the nation's newest traitors who are also on the government payroll will be fired from their lofty positions in Novemeber. Their arrogance and selfishness in voting for this legislation will lead many Americans to vote for their opponent even if it's Big Bird on the other side of the ticket. For example, if my choices this Fall are between Jim Cooper and a hot pile of horse waste, I'm voting for the waste. It smells less than Mr. Cooper.

Yes, I miss W! At least his first 7 years...

Bracket Challenge

I know it's very last minute, but I just created a group on ESPN.com to play the Bracket Challenge. It is called simply, "Group by Ross." Join in on the fun!

Nashville Snow 2010

Some pictures Betty Clair and I have taken of the snow we've been blessed with here in Nashville...

Hard Workin' Pharmacist

Here's a popular Brooks and Dunn song that I rewrote to fit my own profession. Try to read along to the tune of "Hard Workin' Man."

Hard Workin' Pharmacist

I'm a hard workin' man

I wear a bleached white coat

I can type, label, count pills, and check

And do all these things with the help of a tech

I can't pay off loans, no matter how hard I try

I'll be in deep debt until the day I die

Got everything I own

By overworking my brain

Studied all night long while I was in school

And all those tests were downright cruel

So now I'm workin' overtime checkin' scripts all day

Such long shifts, I really need a raise

I'm a hard, hard workin' man

Checkin'g hundreds of scripts just as quickly as I can

I rarely ever even see the sun

Just gotta clear another shift here

Without killing someone

Come Friday night

I'm still standing at work

I haven't peed since I left the house

On days I work, I don't see my spouse

But come Monday morning, I'll be back here again

On my feet all day 'til 10 pm

I'm a hard, hard workin' man

Checkin' hundreds of scripts just as quickly as I can

I rarely ever even see the sun

Just gotta clear another shift here

Without killing someone

Can't wait to get up on Tuesday

And do it all over again

Well, I'm a hard livin', hard workin' man

Things to Come

Some things I'm still looking forward to in the future:

1. The 1960's Ford Mustang I'll restore.

Ever since the day my dad sold his 1964 1/2 Mustang when I was 15, I've longed to sit behind the wheel of my very own. To be honest, I've already spent several hours researching this one and comparing prices of cars that are in desperate need of my TLC. Things look quite promising. Come to think of it, I still know where my dad's old car sits to this day. Hmm.....

2. Taking care of my lawn when I leave apartment life

Unfortunately, I have just learned that this one will mean that I may inadvertently and drastically increase my carbon footprint. Oh, the shame! According to a study for the University of California Irvine, my future lawn-of-the-month may help store carbon dioxide in its perfectly manicured blades of centipede, but this benefit is far offset by the carbon my mower, weed-eater, edger, and leaf blower will release.

Actually, this quandary will not deter me one bit in my efforts to produce a yard that you will drool over one day. Years spent under the tutorage of the great lawnman Lee Fore have predisposed me to this unique interest and given me the skills necessary to maintain a meticulously manicured turf.

3. Breaking 80

This one will be tough, especially considering that I am attempting this task without moving my ball like Ryan does. Fortunately, I have the benefit of a gift certificate for a lesson that my wife gifted me earlier this year. Maybe the tips I will learn when I use it in the Spring and a rekindled devotion proportional to the temperature will help me complete this one some time next year. A new set of irons wouldn't hurt, either.

4. The Return of Leroy

For those of you unaware who Leroy is, I really feel incredibly sorry for you. Leroy was and still is the greatest canine to ever walk (or run) on this planet. He was a puppy who came to live with me during my time in Auburn, but ultimately proved too energetic and destructive for my 14 x 52 trailer. Therefore, he now resides with his grandparents in Grand Bay and longs for his original master every day. Since living in a 2-bedroom apartment and working 15-hour shifts doesn't bode well with his temperament, he will regrettably remain at his current residence until I can procure sufficient living accommodations for him. Isn't that just sad?

I bet you thought I'd get political again with that title, huh? Sorry to disappoint.

Avatar Review

It's been quite some time since there was something in the theater that I was looking forward to, so I had really high hopes for Avatar. It was billed as "filmmaking of the future" and we were told it would be "groundbreaking." I bought into the hype and paid nearly $30 for Betty Clair and I to see the movie in its 3-D version last week.

Bad idea!

The movie was less than advertised in nearly every single way.

First of all, the 3-D graphics, which were the primary selling point of the film, produced images that fell far short of what I had expected. Several times during the movie, I removed my glasses to see what the picture looked like without them. However, there really wasn't that much of a difference. I only noticed a couple of scenes in the entire film that actually had somewhat impressive visuals. Mostly, the 3-dimensional views you were supposed to be

experiencing were very limited and didn't produce very drastic contrasts in perceived depth at all.

Many other details molded into the movie also seemed to reek of liberal ideology. Were they not aware that I just wanted to watch a movie while eating greasy popcorn and not be exposed to propaganda?

One liberal theme expressed in the film was the purported bully traits of the military. The director, James Cameron, goes out of his way to portray the military as being greedy, materialistic, and only interested in conquering helpless peoples. In the film, there is an imaginary valuable substance called Unobtainium on the foreign planet that the military is utilized to find and procure... no matter what the costs. In other words, the Marines are the bad guys. They are shown over and over killing the innocent, helpless alien race and ravaging their beloved forest lands simply for the sake of gathering their planet's precious resources. Catching on to the oil analogy yet?

Mentioning the forest lands on the imaginary planet leads me to the next gross display of liberal ideas seen in the film. In Avatar, the alien race has become so "one with the environment" that it is believed to be sinful to cut down a tree or kill any animal... even those trying to kill you! The alien peoples, or Na'vi, seem to believe that their planet is all one organism functioning in parts and that no creature is more valuable than any other. This film takes the revered views of the environment to an extreme level as the natives are seen praying to a tree and seeking wisdom and guidance from plant-life. The film's overwhelming and radical environmental message is so disgusting and perverted that it even goes so far as to have an inter-species mating scene between one of the Na'vi and a human. I guess we might as well start breeding with monkeys, too!

In my opinion, if you haven't sat through this film already, just stay home and save your money. Even if you don't mind the liberal propaganda (since it's become so typical of anything from Hollywood), the imagery isn't nearly as remarkable as advertised and doesn't begin to justify the 50% increase in the cost of a ticket.

Free Pass... If Your Name Ends in (D)

I really wish I were a Democrat in the Senate right now because this group seems to be able to do anything, say anything, and get anything their little hearts desire. As far as I can tell, these people have this priceless luxury right now because each one of them could potentially be the 60th vote for any legislation the president wants to propose. Therefore, he has to give them what they want when they want it and also forgive all their sins. Don't tell me you weren't aware that he added "forgiveness of sins" to the president's job description?

For example, just look at what Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson (D) was able to pull off. Via the scandal ridden political process, he was able to add so many perks benefitting his own state to the health care bill that attorney generals from across the country have threatened to file suit against the bill. His strategy through the whole debate process was simply just to hold out on casting his vote for the financial carnage until he could get what he wanted specifically. As a clever politician, however, he knew it would be successful since that 60th vote is so very crucial.

Another case involves the recently reported comments made by Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D). Before the election, Reid was quoted as saying that Obama only had a chance in the contest because he was "light-skinned" and spoke "with no negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one." In other words, Reid felt Obama's most valuable qualities were that he happened to only be half black and could also talk like a white guy or a black guy, lending to his remarkable ability to mesmerize more than one ethnic group at a time. But being the kind and forgiving (aka weak and scared) leader that Obama is, he gave Senator Reid a pass on these remarks. I guess it's okay to make fun of his ears now, too.

Ironically, the same free pass wasn't given to Senator Trent Lott (R) when he made the observation to 100-year-old Strom Thurmond at his birthday party that the country would have been better off if he would have been elected president. Lott held the same postion that Senator Reid holds now and was ultimately forced to step down due to intense political pressure over his statement. One key difference between these events is that Reid's remarks refer to a point in time when he was 69 years old and had been in Congress for many years. Lott's comments refer to an event that happened when he was 7 years old. I'm not sure how comprehensive his understanding of the details of national politics was at that age.

I would also like to discuss all of Obama's fellow Democrats that are getting free passes when it comes to paying taxes, but the internet isn't large enough to list that much information. I wish Al would have worried about making the internet bigger when he invented it instead of fretting about all this global warming stuff. Oh well...

Note: In contrast to the assumed level of Senator Lott's early political knowledge, I have learned that my own political leanings were well-founded and faultless at an early age. Recently, I found my 4th grade composition book and discovered a negatively toned remark in reference to Bill Clinton among the wonderfully written passages. Stan and Becky sure did raise me right.

Dawdlers

If you've still been keeping up with my far too infrequent posting, you've probably noticed that I haven't been very critical of anything lately... and you know that's my specialty. Unfortunately, my judgmental side is just itching to come out again, so I will go ahead and set it free for a few minutes.

Now, I do realize that I am in the minority since I did not push the button next to Obama's name last November, but more and more people seem to be drifting to my side. After discovering the liberal ideology that has molded our president and still guides his every decision today, many Americans are realizing that his concept of what is good for the country is actually not very good for the country. In fact, his policies are being viewed in a negative light by more people every day. Have you seen the latest polls?

However, there do seem to still be a few stragglers out there tightly holding on to the exciting promises of "hope" and "change." You know who I'm talking about. Remember that Subara hatchback you were stopped by the other day with the Darwin, Obama, and "Free Tibet" stickers? Yeah, those people for sure!

Regardless of how awful the plans proposed by the Obama administration are repeatedly shown to be, some people still insist on making the appeal that we all "just give the man a chance." But after one sees the data and learns how bad his policies truly are, this would be like sitting around and giving 2+2 a chance to add up to 5.

Take his recent show of prowess in regards to the crucial task of combatting terrorism. After the failed bombing attempt on Christmas Day, Homeland Security Secretary Napolitano was quoted as saying, "the system worked." That's really funny considering the fact that Al Qaeda also considered this attempted attack a success. Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula (AQAP) boasts about the event since the attacker

managed to penetrate all devices and modern technology and security checkpoints in international airports... defying the large myth of American and international intelligence, and exposing how fragile they are, bringing their nose to the ground.

Apparently, the remarkable fortune of a malfunctioning explosive is this administration's favorite means to fight terrorism. Why can't they just realize that keeping an eye on Middle Eastern Muslims buying one-way flights with cash is a more effective method than strip searching grandmothers before a flight to Branson?

Another example would be his magnificent handling of the weakening economy. Although his original predictions told us the worst unemployment would possibly be is 8%, the most recent numbers have actually rolled into double digits. Apparently, he's presiding over the worst unemployment rate in our nation's history, and numbers haven't even approached that in over 25 years. And you thought Bush was bad?

Despite the overwhelming evidence of how horrible this presidency is now and will continue to be, some people are so blinded by... well, I don't even know what. Maybe it is still his ability to turn his head left and right while reading a screen and constantly stuttering. Maybe it's his glistening pectorals. Maybe some people are just plain fools! I'm going with the latter.