Ross Hatcher's Blog

Baby Hatcher Update

2011-01-19T21:52:00.000-06:00

This morning, we had our first opportunity to see our soon to be bundle of joy.

We arrived at Mobile Bay Ob-Gyn just before 9:30 a.m. and were able to witness the little guy/gal squirming all around inside Betty Clair's womb. The baby seemed to be full of life as he/she constantly moved and twisted during the entire procedure. The ultrasound tech even made note to point out two times how "long" the baby's legs are. Little did she know that this is a Hatcher baby and those legs are probably about as long as they will get.

The baby also showed a healthy heart beat of 160 beats per minute and all visible organs and body systems seemed to be developing normally. Upon further examination, the good doctor said all things at this point were "as good as a 13 week ultrasound can look."

We thoroughly enjoyed our experience today and are now even more excited than before about the things to come with our new blessing.

Back to the Blog

2010-12-22T17:47:00.000-06:00

Wow! It's been quite a while since I've been here. Actually, it has been over eight months according to the date on that last post about the Masters.

And, many things have happened!

First, we are becoming rather comfortable in our new abode. Betty Clair has been quite devoted to decorating it and picking out paint colors for me to apply to the walls, which I have done with virtuosic skill. Unfortunately, there are still more walls in the house just awaiting the appropriate paint swabs to be held next to the sheetrock. There's no doubt she has more work for me to do.

The yard is coming along nicely, but slowly. It seemed so much easier to improve yards when someone was paying you to do it. Now, having to use my own money and spare time to landscape actually makes it seem like... work? Who knew? Regardless, I was able to keep my Centipede in the front and St. Augustine in the back at a precise 2 3/4" all Summer long. I've pulled up all the sago palms and lantana around the house, but I haven't decided just yet how to replace them. Any suggestions? The lantana lined the west side of the home and two LARGE palms were directly next to the front steps. The only remaining shrubs are some good-sized Indian hawthorne anterior to the front porch, but I'm not sure what to do with them yet.

In other non-yard related news, Betty Clair and I have something even more exciting to share. I know... what's more exciting than listening to me ramble about shrubbery? She tells me it's more exciting, though.

The news is...

We are expecting our first child in July!

As of today, I think she is about 9 or 10 weeks along. For more accurate dating, you may have to talk to her. I'm just estimating that number.

We're extremely excited about our new blessing and look forward to all that is to come with him, her, or even them in the future. I might need more advice about this endeavor than the landscaping tasks. We'll have plenty of pictures related to this in the future. Stay tuned! (As if you couldn't assume, this story also relates to the painting I still have to do.)

Furthermore, how 'bout them Tigers? It sure has been a fun football season to be an Auburn Tiger! Currently, my alma mater is 13-0 and about to travel to Glendale, Arizona to play in the BCS National Championship Game against the Oregon Ducks.

This team has been both exhilarating and exasperating to follow this year. Many comeback wins by narrow to tiny margins has been a bit much for my young cardiovascular system. I can't imagine how the older alumni have been able to deal with it *cough*Gregg Hearon*cough*. Seriously, though, I've been especially impressed with how this team has been able to deal with the off-the-field stories and rumors that have followed our Heisman Trophy winning star quarterback, Cameron Jerrell Newton. The team has seemed unfazed, as they told the media they were, by all the drama and advanced through the season without a blemish on their record. I sure hope they can do it at least one more time on January 10.

In other news, Betty Clair and I have also both resigned from our positions with our former employer and moved on to happier places. I won't name names, but a friend and colleague of ours has said that our former company's name is an acronym for Come Visit Satan. But, I repeat, I'm not naming names or holding a grudge at all.

Betty Clair is now working at Mobile Infirmary Medical Center and I have recently found employment with "The Beef People." We are both much happier with our new jobs and don't regret our decisions at all. The "Limited Bladder Relief" policy and insanely high stress levels present from our last employer's working conditions wouldn't have been very convenient for Betty Clair's pregnancy.

Masters Challenge

2010-04-06T18:51:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year again...

One of the greatest sporting events in the world is about to take place...

Surrounded by meticulously manicured turf and blooming azaleas in Augusta, Georgia...

The Masters Golf Tournament is taking place!

In honor of this event, I've set up a group on ESPN's website where you can play in the Masters Best Ball Challenge.

The group to I've made for you to join is called Group by Ross. Is that vain? You can search for it on ESPN's site or just click the blue highlighted words in the earlier sentence. The password is "golf" to join the group.

Play if you're not scared of my fantasy sports skills!

Obama is Still a Joke

2010-04-06T18:43:00.000-05:00

In this video alone, the smartest American president ever...

can't name one player on what he claims was his favorite baseball team as a child
can't name one player on the other team (Chicago Cubs) he mentions as a team with many players he liked
also says he's an A's fan since he grew up in Hawaii, despite labeling himself a "Southside kid"
mispronounced the stadium of his "favorite" team by calling it "Cominskey Park"
pretends to understand the concept of "blue collar baseball" in which the White Sox organization supposedly participates

Some things we can infer from this video...

Obama is not really a White Sox fan
Obama is not really a Cubs fan
Obama simply changes the subject when he can't complete simple tasks like, "Name a player."
Obama is out of touch with things average Americans can relate to (like naming a player on your favorite sports team). I know kindergartners that can do that!
Obama still throws like a girl!

Seriously, did you see that throw? My 2 year old niece throws better than that. I remember Bush putting it right down the middle at these events year after year. Barack Obama is quite possibly one of the lamest examples of a man I have ever seen, let alone a man who is the leader of the free world.

Additionally, the only good thing about the NCAA tournament being over is that I no longer have to watch the morons at ESPN drool over Obama's bracket. They even went out of their way displaying the president's intelligence by pointing out the fact that he correctly picked two of the teams in the Women's Final Four. Considering the fact that most people could have done that before the women's season even started, that feat is not too spectacular. He probably does relate better to women's sports, however, since he throws a baseball and shoots a basketball like one.

Maybe we really need to see his birth certificate to check his gender and not his birthplace.

Sweet Home Alabama

2010-04-02T16:03:00.000-06:00

Well, I suppose I'll go ahead and make it official by posting it on the blog.

Betty Clair and I are moving to Alabama!

We've found a home in Grand Bay and are actually in the process of purchasing it now. As it turns out, buying a home is a really complicated process. Who knew? Needless to say, Betty Clair is also fairly excited about the prospects of getting to decorate an entire home. Pray that our bank account copes well with her endeavor. I'll have pictures of the house for you in a later post.

We'll also still be working for CVS, so that will lend to a smooth transition and relieve us of having to find new jobs. After discovering that there were two Mobile openings with the company a while back, we felt it was probably a good time to take advantage of the opportunity and make our move. Unfortunately, we'll lose the luxury of only having to work every third weekend that we now enjoy in Nashville. However, I won't have to work any more 15-hour shifts, either! I guess that balances out.

Leaving our stores in Nashville was also something we had a difficult time dealing with in our decision to move. Since we each work with what we feel may be some of the best pharmacy technicians (and intern) in Tennessee, we struggled a bit with the idea of leaving such good working conditions. People who work hard and are also easy to get along with aren't always easy to find. From what I hear, we'll be alright at our new stores in south Alabama, though.

There are plenty of things we'll miss from Nashville, such as the Pancake Pantry, which we enjoyed just this morning while my dear mother was passing through town. On the other hand, I dealt with enough snow this Winter to last the rest of my life.

All things considered, we are definitely looking forward to the benefits of home ownership and being closer to family... as well as beating my brothers in golf several times this Summer!

Some Costs of ObamaCare

2010-03-27T08:10:00.009-06:00

On February 12, 2009, President Barack Obama gave another of his inspirational speeches to Caterpillar employees at the Caterpillar plant in East Peoria, Illinois. During his address, the president asked the audience to recognize that

what's happening at this company tells us a larger story about what's happening with our nation's economy - because, in many ways, you can measure America's bottom line by looking at Caterpillar's bottom line.

Oh, really, Mr. President? Let's just take a look at Caterpillar's bottom line.

Just this past Wednesday, Caterpillar announced that due to the new healthcare legislation advanced by the president and his comrades, the company will have to take a $100 million tax charge in the current quarter. Caterpillar said the $100 million hit will only be a one-time expense, but they are also anxious about the higher taxes and additional expenses that will be enacted with the launch of the new law. That's a lot to swallow considering that Caterpillar also lost 75% of its profit in 2009.

How's that "bottom line" thing working out for you, Mr. President?

Unfortunately, Caterpillar isn't the only business experiencing this new burden. Both AT&T and Verizon, the two largest phone companies in America, are reporting that healthcare reform will cost them millions of dollars. For this quarter alone, AT&T's additional costs will actually reach $1 billion!

Consequently, AT&T said in a government filing on Friday

As a result of this legislation, including the additional tax burden, AT&T will be evaluating prospective changes to the active and retiree healthcare benefits offered by the company.

In other words, we are somehow going to have to account for these expenses and will probably do so by cutting some benefits for our employees and retirees.

Verizon has sent letters to current employees informing them that changes to their healthcare plans are imminent. I hope these workers are wise enough to know that it's not going to be an improvement.

These companies are just beginning of the list of big businesses taking immediate hits from the new bill. Deere & Co., Valero, AK Steel Holding, 3M Co, and others to come are reporting that they will be forced to incur new and substantial expenses.

On the other side, there actually are people out there who see this as a good thing. They believe that these corporations are basically so greedy and evil that they deserve to be taxed like this. Their naive and ignorant minds fail to recognize that AT&T and the others will not actually pay these bills, though. Any person with a basic understanding of economics knows full well that these costs will either be passed on to the consumer or balanced out by eliminating employees. Does anyone really think that's good for the country?

I guess that makes it obvious that some people (Obama, Pelosi, Ahmadinejad, Satan, et al.) don't really want what is good for America. Harsh? I think not.

It looks like Pelosi was right after all. We did "have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it."

I guess we'll also find out she won't be the Speaker much longer, as well.

ObamaCare

2010-03-22T13:11:00.006-06:00

Last night, the most devastating piece of legislation ever concocted in this country was passed to thunderous applause by 219 traitors in Washington D.C. With only partisan support from rabid liberal ideologues, complete control of healthcare and at least one-sixth of our economy was given to politicians and bureaucrats who are already out of touch with the desires of American citizens.

As our country proceeds on its downward slide to socialism, many of our leaders fail to acknowledge the devastating effects this will have on our nation. There will be no good to come of this bill. There is no beating around the bush. To think otherwise makes you a fool.

This vote was labeled as "historic," but rather it seems to fall under the category of everything Obama does in that it's historically awful. From his strategies in warfare to his ideas on global warming, the president has repeatedly shown that he may very well be clinically insane. Nothing the man wants to do in this country will ever have a positive outcome. Nothing!

After the vote, Plastic-face Pelosi went on to declare that this new law will be great for small business owners and entrepreneurs. Is she serious? As a pharmacist, I have this little dream of opening my own store in the future and serving the community where I live. Unfortunately, due to the fact that the federal government has atrocious reimbursement rates for healthcare services and will now be subsidizing medical care for the entire country, my dream is basically unattainable. So much for entrepreneurship...

Bart Stupak (D) also proved to America that the idea of a Pro-Life Democrat working in Congress is something that will never happen. His act of treason alone may be the single most egregious of all. After vowing for weeks and weeks that there is no reason he will vote for the bill as it is written, something happened that made him change his mind at the last minute to cast a "yea" vote. He claims that it was our president's promise to sign an executive order outlawing federal funding of abortions, but law experts from left to right claim that this promise, even if fulfilled by the honorable one, will actually not even be worth the paper on which it's written. To pretend Stupid... err, Stupak... is not aware of this fact is plain asinine. He is fully aware of this reality, and it can easily be concluded that there were other favors or goods offered to ol' Bart to force his sudden change of heart.

By the way, did anyone else notice Pelosi's remarks about how she is both "proud" and "humble" about her ability to pass this bill. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't those words basically opposites. It's kind of like Stupak labeling himself a Pro-Life Democrat or a liberal claiming to be intelligent and of sound mind. Funny...

Fortunately, this does mean that many of the nation's newest traitors who are also on the government payroll will be fired from their lofty positions in Novemeber. Their arrogance and selfishness in voting for this legislation will lead many Americans to vote for their opponent even if it's Big Bird on the other side of the ticket. For example, if my choices this Fall are between Jim Cooper and a hot pile of horse waste, I'm voting for the waste. It smells less than Mr. Cooper.

Yes, I miss W! At least his first 7 years...

Bracket Challenge

2010-03-17T11:55:00.002-06:00

I know it's very last minute, but I just created a group on ESPN.com to play the Bracket Challenge. It is called simply, "Group by Ross." Join in on the fun!

Nashville Snow 2010

2010-01-31T15:24:00.008-06:00

Some pictures Betty Clair and I have taken of the snow we've been blessed with here in Nashville...

Hard Workin' Pharmacist

2010-01-30T00:13:00.007-06:00

Here's a popular Brooks and Dunn song that I rewrote to fit my own profession. Try to read along to the tune of "Hard Workin' Man."

Hard Workin' Pharmacist

I'm a hard workin' man

I wear a bleached white coat

I can type, label, count pills, and check

And do all these things with the help of a tech

I can't pay off loans, no matter how hard I try

I'll be in deep debt until the day I die

Got everything I own

By overworking my brain

Studied all night long while I was in school

And all those tests were downright cruel

So now I'm workin' overtime checkin' scripts all day

Such long shifts, I really need a raise

I'm a hard, hard workin' man

Checkin'g hundreds of scripts just as quickly as I can

I rarely ever even see the sun

Just gotta clear another shift here

Without killing someone

Come Friday night

I'm still standing at work

I haven't peed since I left the house

On days I work, I don't see my spouse

But come Monday morning, I'll be back here again

On my feet all day 'til 10 pm

I'm a hard, hard workin' man

Checkin' hundreds of scripts just as quickly as I can

I rarely ever even see the sun

Just gotta clear another shift here

Without killing someone

Can't wait to get up on Tuesday

And do it all over again

Well, I'm a hard livin', hard workin' man

Things to Come

2010-01-22T22:29:00.010-06:00

Some things I'm still looking forward to in the future:

1. The 1960's Ford Mustang I'll restore.

Ever since the day my dad sold his 1964 1/2 Mustang when I was 15, I've longed to sit behind the wheel of my very own. To be honest, I've already spent several hours researching this one and comparing prices of cars that are in desperate need of my TLC. Things look quite promising. Come to think of it, I still know where my dad's old car sits to this day. Hmm.....

2. Taking care of my lawn when I leave apartment life

Unfortunately, I have just learned that this one will mean that I may inadvertently and drastically increase my carbon footprint. Oh, the shame! According to a study for the University of California Irvine, my future lawn-of-the-month may help store carbon dioxide in its perfectly manicured blades of centipede, but this benefit is far offset by the carbon my mower, weed-eater, edger, and leaf blower will release.

Actually, this quandary will not deter me one bit in my efforts to produce a yard that you will drool over one day. Years spent under the tutorage of the great lawnman Lee Fore have predisposed me to this unique interest and given me the skills necessary to maintain a meticulously manicured turf.

3. Breaking 80

This one will be tough, especially considering that I am attempting this task without moving my ball like Ryan does. Fortunately, I have the benefit of a gift certificate for a lesson that my wife gifted me earlier this year. Maybe the tips I will learn when I use it in the Spring and a rekindled devotion proportional to the temperature will help me complete this one some time next year. A new set of irons wouldn't hurt, either.

4. The Return of Leroy

For those of you unaware who Leroy is, I really feel incredibly sorry for you. Leroy was and still is the greatest canine to ever walk (or run) on this planet. He was a puppy who came to live with me during my time in Auburn, but ultimately proved too energetic and destructive for my 14 x 52 trailer. Therefore, he now resides with his grandparents in Grand Bay and longs for his original master every day. Since living in a 2-bedroom apartment and working 15-hour shifts doesn't bode well with his temperament, he will regrettably remain at his current residence until I can procure sufficient living accommodations for him. Isn't that just sad?

I bet you thought I'd get political again with that title, huh? Sorry to disappoint.

Avatar Review

2010-01-18T17:26:00.005-06:00

It's been quite some time since there was something in the theater that I was looking forward to, so I had really high hopes for Avatar. It was billed as "filmmaking of the future" and we were told it would be "groundbreaking." I bought into the hype and paid nearly $30 for Betty Clair and I to see the movie in its 3-D version last week.

Bad idea!

The movie was less than advertised in nearly every single way.

First of all, the 3-D graphics, which were the primary selling point of the film, produced images that fell far short of what I had expected. Several times during the movie, I removed my glasses to see what the picture looked like without them. However, there really wasn't that much of a difference. I only noticed a couple of scenes in the entire film that actually had somewhat impressive visuals. Mostly, the 3-dimensional views you were supposed to be

experiencing were very limited and didn't produce very drastic contrasts in perceived depth at all.

Many other details molded into the movie also seemed to reek of liberal ideology. Were they not aware that I just wanted to watch a movie while eating greasy popcorn and not be exposed to propaganda?

One liberal theme expressed in the film was the purported bully traits of the military. The director, James Cameron, goes out of his way to portray the military as being greedy, materialistic, and only interested in conquering helpless peoples. In the film, there is an imaginary valuable substance called Unobtainium on the foreign planet that the military is utilized to find and procure... no matter what the costs. In other words, the Marines are the bad guys. They are shown over and over killing the innocent, helpless alien race and ravaging their beloved forest lands simply for the sake of gathering their planet's precious resources. Catching on to the oil analogy yet?

Mentioning the forest lands on the imaginary planet leads me to the next gross display of liberal ideas seen in the film. In Avatar, the alien race has become so "one with the environment" that it is believed to be sinful to cut down a tree or kill any animal... even those trying to kill you! The alien peoples, or Na'vi, seem to believe that their planet is all one organism functioning in parts and that no creature is more valuable than any other. This film takes the revered views of the environment to an extreme level as the natives are seen praying to a tree and seeking wisdom and guidance from plant-life. The film's overwhelming and radical environmental message is so disgusting and perverted that it even goes so far as to have an inter-species mating scene between one of the Na'vi and a human. I guess we might as well start breeding with monkeys, too!

In my opinion, if you haven't sat through this film already, just stay home and save your money. Even if you don't mind the liberal propaganda (since it's become so typical of anything from Hollywood), the imagery isn't nearly as remarkable as advertised and doesn't begin to justify the 50% increase in the cost of a ticket.

Free Pass... If Your Name Ends in (D)

2010-01-12T13:14:00.012-06:00

I really wish I were a Democrat in the Senate right now because this group seems to be able to do anything, say anything, and get anything their little hearts desire. As far as I can tell, these people have this priceless luxury right now because each one of them could potentially be the 60th vote for any legislation the president wants to propose. Therefore, he has to give them what they want when they want it and also forgive all their sins. Don't tell me you weren't aware that he added "forgiveness of sins" to the president's job description?

For example, just look at what Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson (D) was able to pull off. Via the scandal ridden political process, he was able to add so many perks benefitting his own state to the health care bill that attorney generals from across the country have threatened to file suit against the bill. His strategy through the whole debate process was simply just to hold out on casting his vote for the financial carnage until he could get what he wanted specifically. As a clever politician, however, he knew it would be successful since that 60th vote is so very crucial.

Another case involves the recently reported comments made by Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D). Before the election, Reid was quoted as saying that Obama only had a chance in the contest because he was "light-skinned" and spoke "with no negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one." In other words, Reid felt Obama's most valuable qualities were that he happened to only be half black and could also talk like a white guy or a black guy, lending to his remarkable ability to mesmerize more than one ethnic group at a time. But being the kind and forgiving (aka weak and scared) leader that Obama is, he gave Senator Reid a pass on these remarks. I guess it's okay to make fun of his ears now, too.

Ironically, the same free pass wasn't given to Senator Trent Lott (R) when he made the observation to 100-year-old Strom Thurmond at his birthday party that the country would have been better off if he would have been elected president. Lott held the same postion that Senator Reid holds now and was ultimately forced to step down due to intense political pressure over his statement. One key difference between these events is that Reid's remarks refer to a point in time when he was 69 years old and had been in Congress for many years. Lott's comments refer to an event that happened when he was 7 years old. I'm not sure how comprehensive his understanding of the details of national politics was at that age.

I would also like to discuss all of Obama's fellow Democrats that are getting free passes when it comes to paying taxes, but the internet isn't large enough to list that much information. I wish Al would have worried about making the internet bigger when he invented it instead of fretting about all this global warming stuff. Oh well...

Note: In contrast to the assumed level of Senator Lott's early political knowledge, I have learned that my own political leanings were well-founded and faultless at an early age. Recently, I found my 4th grade composition book and discovered a negatively toned remark in reference to Bill Clinton among the wonderfully written passages. Stan and Becky sure did raise me right.

Dawdlers

2010-01-08T17:25:00.007-06:00

If you've still been keeping up with my far too infrequent posting, you've probably noticed that I haven't been very critical of anything lately... and you know that's my specialty. Unfortunately, my judgmental side is just itching to come out again, so I will go ahead and set it free for a few minutes.

Now, I do realize that I am in the minority since I did not push the button next to Obama's name last November, but more and more people seem to be drifting to my side. After discovering the liberal ideology that has molded our president and still guides his every decision today, many Americans are realizing that his concept of what is good for the country is actually not very good for the country. In fact, his policies are being viewed in a negative light by more people every day. Have you seen the latest polls?

However, there do seem to still be a few stragglers out there tightly holding on to the exciting promises of "hope" and "change." You know who I'm talking about. Remember that Subara hatchback you were stopped by the other day with the Darwin, Obama, and "Free Tibet" stickers? Yeah, those people for sure!

Regardless of how awful the plans proposed by the Obama administration are repeatedly shown to be, some people still insist on making the appeal that we all "just give the man a chance." But after one sees the data and learns how bad his policies truly are, this would be like sitting around and giving 2+2 a chance to add up to 5.

Take his recent show of prowess in regards to the crucial task of combatting terrorism. After the failed bombing attempt on Christmas Day, Homeland Security Secretary Napolitano was quoted as saying, "the system worked." That's really funny considering the fact that Al Qaeda also considered this attempted attack a success. Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula (AQAP) boasts about the event since the attacker

managed to penetrate all devices and modern technology and security checkpoints in international airports... defying the large myth of American and international intelligence, and exposing how fragile they are, bringing their nose to the ground.

Apparently, the remarkable fortune of a malfunctioning explosive is this administration's favorite means to fight terrorism. Why can't they just realize that keeping an eye on Middle Eastern Muslims buying one-way flights with cash is a more effective method than strip searching grandmothers before a flight to Branson?

Another example would be his magnificent handling of the weakening economy. Although his original predictions told us the worst unemployment would possibly be is 8%, the most recent numbers have actually rolled into double digits. Apparently, he's presiding over the worst unemployment rate in our nation's history, and numbers haven't even approached that in over 25 years. And you thought Bush was bad?

Despite the overwhelming evidence of how horrible this presidency is now and will continue to be, some people are so blinded by... well, I don't even know what. Maybe it is still his ability to turn his head left and right while reading a screen and constantly stuttering. Maybe it's his glistening pectorals. Maybe some people are just plain fools! I'm going with the latter.

Fatherhood

2009-12-27T22:01:00.002-06:00

This is how I will behave with my children one day...

Response from Golf Digest

2009-12-24T10:42:00.003-06:00

Following in the footsteps of my dear mother, I wrote a letter to the editor at Golf Digest a few weeks ago. Recently, their trend has been to write more stories about the impending disasters of global warming than about issues more pertinent to the game of golf. Am I wrong to expect such thing from a magazine called "Golf Digest?" Apparently I am, so I felt it was my supreme duty to send the editor an e-mail and share my unerring views.

I never got a response, so I assumed my letter was immediately sent to the "Trash" section of their inbox along with other correspondence that didn't mold well with their ideology. However, while searching my own name today on the internet via my new favorite search engine, Bing, I found something rather interesting under "Result 8 0f 93."

After clicking the link, I found that editor Bob Carney did take the time to give me a response, although somewhat lame and dodging. Click here to see it yourself.

Keep in mind that this is also the same publication features images of leader of the year Barack Obama and husband of the year Tiger Woods on the cover of its most recent issue with the headline "10 Tips Obama can Take From Tiger."

Like I told them already, "Tell me something about golf!"

Heisman Trophy

2009-12-12T12:11:00.003-06:00

Tonight, we will learn who has won "the most prestigious award in college football," the Heisman Trophy. The finalists the 2009 season are Toby Gerhart, Mark Ingram, Colt McCoy, Ndamukong Suh, and previous winer Tim Tebow.

At this point, there doesn't appear to be a clear leader for the award, although Gerhart and Ingram seem to be battling it out for the top position.

Fortunately for you, I do have an opinion about who I think should win the award, and I will share my thoughts with you today.

Let's discuss the top candidates:

Colt McCoy: The Texas QB had pretty impressive number overall for the season, but unfortunately not even the best of his career. For 2009, he had 27 TD's and 12 Int's with a passer rating of 147.46. In 2008, those numbers were 34, 8, and 173.75, respectively. If he wasn't good enough to get it last year, he's still not good enough this year.

Note: I will still be pulling for him to have a career game in January, though.

Mark Ingram: Again, we have a candidate with very strong numbers on the year. Running the ball, he amassed 1542 yards on 249 carries. He also plays in what is generally considered to be the premier conference in the country, however the competition this year wasn't quite what we've become accustomed to in the SEC. His 18 total touchdowns for the year are quite remarkable, but I feel they are more a product of the system he runs. His statistics most likely could have just as easily been produced by his backup Trent Richardson if given the same opportunity.

Ndamukong Suh: Being the only defensive candidate in the group (and the first in a while), it is a bit difficult to compare him to the other candidates since his play on the field doesn't ultimately put points on the scoreboard. However, he may be drafted higher than any of the other players in the upcoming NFL draft. Although, he is a dominant force on the field and his individual presence forces offensive coordinators to make constant adjustments, his numbers still aren't quite what needs to be seen for a defensive player to win the award.

Tim Tebow: While easily possessing the best body of work for a career among all the candidates, the Florida quarterback may ultimately fall behind because of his less than "Tebow-esque" performance in the SEC conference game last week. His numbers for the year also aren't quite what we all expected to see from one of college football's greats in his Senior year. Statistically, he is somewhat similar to Colt McCoy in that both players had better numbers last year and still fell short in the final Heisman vote count. His selling point remains, however, that he is still able to make plays at the quarterback position that no other quarterbacks in the country even contemplate.

Toby Gerhart: The Stanford running back proves to be a strong candidate as he leads the entire country in both rushing yards and touchdowns for the 2009 season. While his numbers may have been put up primarily against less than noteworthy Pac-10 defenses, he still did it with a Stanford offensive line blocking for him. Since when has a school more known for its academics been able to claim a player who turns out 1,736 rushing yards and 26 touchdowns? In this aspect, he also possesses the same quality as Tim Tebow in that he is able to make plays that not many other running backs could do in the same situation.

Conclusion: If I had a vote, it would ultimately come down to Tim Tebow and Toby Gerhart due to their abitlities to make the unique and special plays that I mentioned above. When I get this far, I am somewhat conflicted, though. Gerhart was pivotal in leading his team to an 8-4 record with victories over Notre Dame, USC, Oregon, and Washington. This was also Stanford's first winning season in maybe... forever! Tebow also led a team that probably wouldn't have been nearly as good without his presence. However, Florida most likely still could have put out about 10 wins at the end of the regular season without their star. That is why, if I did have a Heisman vote, I would have to check the box next to Toby Gerhart's name. In my opinion, he in undoubtedly the best running back in the country. The main factor going against him is that he performed without all the media adoration that players like McCoy, Tebow, and Ingram received all year long. Hopefully, the Heisman voters can see past this in the end.

Pick the Bowl Games

2009-12-02T18:00:00.005-06:00

College Football Bowl Season is almost here!

To celebrate the occasion, I've created a group on ESPN where you can compete in selecting the winners of the upcoming bowl games.

Follow the link here. The word "blog" is the password to join the group. You may need to create an ESPN profile if you don't already have one.

If you would prefer an e-mail invitation, send me a request at RossHatcher08@gmail.com or simply leave your e-mail address in the comments section below.

Good luck!

Bawitdaba

2009-11-09T15:42:00.005-06:00

Last night, Betty Clair and I ventured down to one of our favorite venues in Nashville, 3rd and Lindsley. The lineup for the evening started off with Meiko followed by Jonathan Tyler and the Northern Lights. We really enjoyed the show put on by both artists and even got to have our picture taken with a legitimate rock star.

See...

As we were paying our check, I looked across the room and saw Kid Rock sitting at the end of the bar. Betty Clair didn't believe me that it was actually him, but I told her that it must be because the girl with him was way too attractive to be with a regular guy who looked like that.

I apologized before asking for his time to snap a quick photo, but he was very friendly and responded with, "It's okay, man. I signed up for this a long time ago." He also took several pictures with other patrons that evening and didn't seem to mind one bit. Maybe he was just in a good mood because he was there with the blonde seen in the background.

The weird thing is that right before we met Kid Rock is also the last time I remember having my cell phone. Did the rocker pick my pocket last night? If you get a prank call from my number in the near future, it may actually be from the producer of great classics such as Cowboy and Devil Without a Cause. Hopefully, I'll just find it later under the couch cushions...

Vote in the latest poll while you're here, too!

Thoughts of the Day

2009-10-09T19:06:00.004-05:00

A list of ways to display incompetence:

As a doctor, you could treat diabetes with ice cream and Reese's peanut butter cups;
as a maid, you could clean grass stains with motor oil;
as a personal trainer, you could give your clients flat-screen televisions;
as a NASCAR driver, you could turn the steering wheel to the right;
and as the Nobel Peace Prize Committee, you could give your annual award to Barack Hussein Obama.

Nobody could ever be that stupid, though... Right?

Guess again! For some completely asinine (or politically motivated) reason, the Norwegian Nobel Committee decided today to give the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize to our valiant leader.

The quote from their website claims this is due to his "extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples." With their selection, I assume they considered his cooperation with General McChrystal as he repeatedly requests the services of additional soldiers in Afghanistan. They probably also recalled his cooperation with American citizens who overwhelmingly oppose his developing healthcare agenda. I'm sure they also reviewed how well he cooperated with the many citizens who requested he produce his American birth certificate before the 2008 elections. What a peacemaker!

Ironically, he's actually more qualified to win the Nobel Prize in Literature since he has actually written a couple of books... or was that Bill Ayers?

"Wood Grain with the Leather Seats...

2009-10-01T16:08:00.005-05:00

...windows so dark you need a flashlight to see me."

After all these years, Betty Clair finally has a car that can be described in a rap song! Yesterday afternoon, we went down to BMW of Nashville to look at cars and left that evening with a 2006 BMW 330i.

(I'll give you a minute to let it sink in that Ross Hatcher let his wife get a car carrying a price tag with more than three numbers. I know... it's shocking.)

However, after getting married last May, I completely abandoned my cheap, tightwad ways and adopted a new motto to keep my wonderful wife happy. That motto (which I borrowed from a Vince Vaughn movie) is very simple and goes as follows:

What my baby wants, my baby gets.

Betty Clair doesn't really believe I follow this protocol very well, but her new automobile proves otherwise. I am so good to my wife in so many ways!

Check out the pictures of the new Beemer!

Praise Obama... and at Taxpayer Expense!

2009-09-24T11:34:00.004-05:00

Some problems I have with this video:

A kid would probably get expelled for singing "Jesus Loves Me" or praying in the corner, but this kind of trash is actually encouraged.
These kids probably haven't memorized the Pledge of Allegiance yet, but taxpayer dollars are being used on teachers who would rather manipulate and corrupt these impressionable minds than actually teach them something useful. How about some arithmetic?
Since I'm reminded of songs I learned in Sunday School, when the line "Red, yellow, black, or white" is recited, aren't these teachers ripping off lyrics from another song meant to praise a real savior? I guess plagiarism is an approved form of writing in public schools now. (That's also a pretty bold claim to assume that all racial groups are equal in Obama's eyes.)
Fox News is the only major news site mentioning this story on their website right now. The alarming school-related story being covered by MSNBC is that some girls were called bad names at school. Lions and tiger and bears... Oh My!!!

Good things about this video:

I don't have children.

For the parts of the song you can't understand, lyrics are listed here.

Tickets and Pharmacy Remarks

2009-09-19T16:37:00.002-05:00

I'm trying something a little bit different today by bringing you a blog post in high quality video. I assumed that since everyone was so awestruck by my appearance on News 2 last week, you would enjoy seeing more video footage of your favorite blogger. Enjoy!

News 2

2009-09-13T21:45:00.002-05:00

I was interviewed leaving work Saturday night by the reported from News 2. It was my first television appearance. Click here to see the video and let me know what you think.

Speech Evaluation: Part 2

2009-09-10T11:29:00.006-05:00

As you noticed in my earlier post, I am really in the mood for analyzing speeches given by our fearless leader. In this one, I will actually pull out specific comments and explore the context and true meanings of such statements.

After requiring oral promethazine to get through the speech on Tuesday, I elected not to view the live broadcast of this one in order to avoid hospitalization. Instead, I simply read the text after the fact. (It also prevents me from being lulled in by Obama's legendary oratory skills.)

We'll start with a comment from the introduction. Before he even began to mention health care, he was busy patting himself on the back about the economy.

I can stand here with confidence and say that we have pulled this economy back from the brink.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe the unemployment rate just jumped again and is now a staggering 9.7%. Don't bother trying to correct me. I'm never wrong.

Obama continues...

We are the only advanced democracy on Earth - the only wealthy nation - that allows such hardships for millions of its people ... In just a two year period, one in every three Americans goes without health care coverage at some point.

The irony here is that Betty Clair and I would fit in this category because "at some point" after graduation, we went without health insurance. But, guess what? We chose to not have insurance. Oh, the humanity!

More and more Americans worry that if you move, lose your job, or change your job, you'll lose your health insurance...

So, if I were to leave CVS and go work for Walgreens or Rite Aid, it would be reasonable for me to expect CVS to pay for my our medical coverage. This would rank high on a list of "Most Asinine Comments ever Made" for most people, but it's really just another routine claim for BO.

Our health care system is placing an unsustainable burden on taxpayers.

Edited out after this sentence was, "but we are so arrogant that we feel it is the duty of taxpayers to pay for a child's Adderall so that his unwed mother of seven doesn't have to bother with raising him." Okay, I can't verify that one for sure, but it really does go along with his ideology.

...if you are among the hundreds of millions of Americans who already have health insurance through your job, Medicare, Medicaid, or the VA, nothing in this plan will require you or your employer to change the coverage or the doctor you have.

But, don't you think there will be lots of employers who will view this as an easy way to dump some expenses by dropping medical benefits for their employees? It would almost be absurd not to do so. Since they will ultimately be funding this plan anyway, regardless of what the president says, why not escape some costs and actually still cover your employees in a more indirect way?

...it will be against the law for insurance companies to deny you coverage because of a pre-existing condition.

So, go ahead and become a fattie, a drunk, or a dope head, because if being unattractive and nasty isn't enough incentive to keep you from ruining your body, now you don't even have to worry about increased costs of health care! Hooray for Rosie O'Donnell!

For those individuals and small businesses who still can not afford the lower-priced insurance available in the exchange, we will provide tax credits, the size of which will be based on your need.

This segment of Obama's health care proposal is based on the teachings of one of his role models who once said, "From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs." Okay, okay, I'll give you a second to let it sink in that Obama does not actually already know everything in the world, but has acquired a few ideas from others over the years.

Improving our health care system only works if everybody does their part.

Again, this is based on the teachings of Karl Marx. See the trend: If you have the ability to pay more taxes, more will be taken from you. If you take care of yourself and require less coverage, less will be given to you. What an incentive!

Regarding the honesty of insurance companies being kept in check, Obama said it will be done

the same way public colleges and universities provide additional choice and competition to students without in any way inhibiting a vibrant system of private colleges and universities.

I still think this was just his attempt at sarcasm. In fact, he doesn't even believe this as it pertains to his own life. If he really felt this were true, then why did President Obama go to Columbia University and Harvard Law School instead of utilizing the wonderful public colleges and universities? There's an example to ponder.

I'll finish now with one more statement from the president since I've probably rambled on far too long, anyway. Toward the end of the speech, the president said,

One of the unique and wonderful things about America has always been our self-reliance, our rugged individualism, our fierce defense of freedom, and our healthy skepticism of government.

Hold up! Doesn't this go against everything he believes in and is trying to incorporate with his health care agenda? Self-reliance? That aspect is seen nowhere in this plan since everyone would be entirely reliant on the government. Rugged individualism? Then why will every patient be treated exactly the same way according to government regulated treatment protocols? Defense of freedom? There would not be any freedom to choose your level of coverage. There would only exist denials of freedom. Skepticism of government? Well, he is actually right on with that one. In fact, it may be the only factual statement in the entire address. Most people these days are pretty skeptical of our government, and the reasons for their skepticism are legitimate and justified.

Sorry for making that such a long post. There was just a lot of crap (literally) to discuss on this one. If you're reading this, you're probably the only person beside my mom who made it this far. Congratulations!

Speech Evaluation: Part 1

2009-09-09T21:23:00.012-05:00

According to what I read on Hot Air earlier today, Obama recently finished giving speech number 263 after being in office for only 231 days. Ironically, these appearances used to boost his ratings, but nowadays they seem to be having the opposite effect. Now, let's consider the presentation he gave to the nation's students earlier this week.

Although it caused me a great deal of abdominal discomfort, I actually did tune in to view the "School Speech" that was given on Tuesday. However, the highly anticipated address actually turned out to be rather bland and boring. Just some more of, "Do your homework," "Study hard," blah, blah, blah.

For the most part, this was basically just another example of the president using our tax dollars to aggrandize himself and score some political points. He actually used the word "I" a total of 56 times in a speech that lasted only about 15 minutes. This means he referred to himself approximately every 16 seconds. But, who's counting?

Furthermore, did anyone else realize that he used Michael Jordan as an example for "not giving up," while simultaneously telling the kids to stop dreaming about being professional athletes? Yeah, that makes a whole lot of sense.

The presentation, which originally included a lesson plan requiring students to compose an essay explaining what they can do to help Obama spread socialism, actually just turned out to be another boring opportunity for teenagers to hear, "Stay in school and work hard." Isn't this really just something their teachers should be telling them every day instead of wasting thousands and thousands of our tax dollars to cover security, transportation, and nourishment for all the personnel necessary for such an event?

The more remarkable news of this occasion is that a bunch of regular citizens were eventually able to change the subjects of his oration and prevent the infamous "lesson plan" from being implemented. However, the audacity displayed by the White House for proposing the lesson plan in the first place is quite telling. Is that really listed as a role of the federal government somewhere, or am I just confused?

My Rating: 3/10

The message was somewhat encouraging and mostly non-political, but still very self-serving a huge waste of resources that could have just been left in my checking account.

Evaluation of Health Care Speech to come later today...

In Good Company

2009-08-26T20:52:00.007-05:00

Considering all the ceremony fostered with the passing of Senator Ted Kennedy, I felt obliged to assemble a short list of other men and women with similar qualities and backgrounds whose passing should also justify such grandeur when they depart from this world.

If you're still trying to figure out what particular quality these people share, it is that everyone of them has, or might as well have, gone through life unpunished for causing or assisting in the murder of another human being. Senator Kennedy's name fits in quite well the list of murderers. What a legacy!

Baseball, Niagara Falls, Etc.

2009-08-23T20:38:00.009-05:00

I guess I will try to rekindle my efforts of keeping this blog going by telling you about our most recent vacation.

Last week, we decided to take a road trip to see one of The Seven Forgotten Natural Wonders of the World, Niagara Falls. According to MapQuest, the trip would require about 12 hours in the car just to get there, so we thought it would be best to break the trip up a bit and enjoy some other activities along the way.

Since our planned route went through some larger cities in Ohio, we decided to make stops in Cincinnati and Cleveland to catch a couple of baseball games on the way. We spent our first night in Cincinnati and watched the Reds get pounded by the Nationals. Our hotel was close enough to the stadium (2 miles) that we took advantage of the proximity and walked through town to get to the stadium. We also walked most of the way to Cock and Bull English Pub to eat supper and even got a "War Eagle" along the way... nearly brought a tear to my eye.

The next morning we attempted to make it all the way to Niagara Falls, New York in order to see the falls before sunset. Unbeknownst to us, the Maxima didn't have the same travel plans. After stopping just a few minutes outside of Cincinnati to get gas, the starter went out in the car. Luckily, we broke down at a gas station next to a PepBoys, which I would assume is one of very few places employing fairly legitimate mechanics that is open on a Sunday. The PepBoys was only next door, but you had to move the car uphill to get it there. My attempt to push it up the hill was unsuccessful, so we used our newest toy, a Garmin nuvi 1300, to help us find a tow truck to pull it there.

Break: I hear Ann Coulter's voice on the television in the living room. Be right back!

On with the story...

With more good fortune, the tow truck driver was on his way to move another automobile and said he would be passing our location on the way. Since it was convenient, he said he would move it for $20 as long as I wouldn't tell his boss, but I let him keep a nice tip for helping us out so much. PepBoys was able to put us on the list and we were able to get away far cheaper, but not quicker, than I had hoped.

We did finally make it to the Elizabeth House just before 10:00 that night where our hosts informed us that we could take a short walk down the street to make it just in time to see fireworks over the waterfall. Since we skipped supper in order to make better time, we then dined at the Hard Rock Cafe since it was the only place open that late at night.

The next morning, we were finally able to witness the true beauty that is Niagara Falls. Regardless of our location at the park, the scenery was continuously breathtaking. We even got the chance to take the Cave of Winds Tour, which allowed us to view the falls from the bottom up. If you ever go to Niagara, this is one attraction you should not pass up.

After our morning at the falls, we drove back down to Erie, Pennsylvania and stayed at theGeorge Carroll House. (Can you tell we've become fans of the Bed and Breakfast option?) We spent the next morning at Presque Isle State Park where you have an impressive view of Lake Erie. It was really hard for me to comprehend the fact that this body of water was merely a lake and not an entire ocean. The waves crashing on the shore were actually larger than the ones I saw at Gulf Shores back in June.

When the rain began to come down on us at Presque Isle, we decided to pack our belongings and make the next part of our drive down to Cleveland. We arrived earlier than we had planned, so we spent a couple of hours touring downtown. I would have loved to have been able to visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but we didn't have quite enough time for it before the Indians game. The game at Progressive Field also proved to be much more entertaining than the blowout at Great American Ball Park a few days earlier. I also found it extremely impressive to see just how hard Vladimir Guerrero can hit a baseball.

The game in Cleveland was almost the final part of our trip. On our drive back to Nashville on Wednesday morning, we made a short detour to Covington, Kentucky to locate the childhood homes of my maternal grandparents. It was rather fascinating to see these houses, and I took several pictures to pass on to them since my mother informed me that they hadn't seen them in a while. (The Garmin really displayed its worth with this mission.)

I also must mention that I added New York and Pennsylvania to my collection of "State Rocks."

Now, I'll leave you with some pictures from our excursion. Enjoy!

Great American Ball Park

Holding my "New York Rock" I pulled out of the Niagara River

A rainbow... Duh

View from the Observation Tower

View from the Cave of Winds Tour

Betty Clair on the Cave of Winds Tour

Presque Isle/Lake Erie

Progressive Field

Mama Lue's Childhood Home

Papa Bene's Childhood Home

Cap & Trade

2009-06-27T11:11:00.007-05:00

In case you missed it, what will easily be one of the most obtrusive and damaging bills in American history is making its way through Congress right now. Commonly referred to as "Cap and Trade," this new program being proposed is a way to help limit carbon emissions by certain businesses in order to halt the harmful effects of global warming. Examples of such harmful effects would include longer growing seasons and water skiing in October.

First of all, you have to accept the premise that global warming is actually real to even begin to think this is a good idea. The way I see things, it would be like spending billions, no trillions, of dollars on equipment and traps to capture either unicorns or Bigfoot. Since there is scant to no evidence at all supporting the existence of these two creatures, the science is about as solid as that boasting proof of global warming.

Secondly, there is this bogus claim from the president that this program will "create or save" more jobs than we will even know what to do with. Unfortunately, data from every other source that researches this type of stuff (other than the White House) claims just the opposite. Check out what The Heritage Foundation and The Wall Street Journal have to say.

I'm also still trying to figure out exactly how one measures a "saved" job, though. I suppose if CVS is able to "save" may pharmacist position, all my gratitude should be directed toward the president and his global warming agenda since I didn't receive a pink slip that says "Polluted Too Much."

You would also think that since we are in "the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression," the last thing our fearless leaders would want to do is raise energy costs. But, noooo. Apparently, for the 9.4% of Americans who are unemployed, a sharp rise in their power bill or a tank of gas is a good thing. They must be stupid not to see this!

Silly Americans.....

Michael Jackson

2009-06-26T15:24:00.001-05:00

Express an opinion about the man by leaving a comment

or voting in the poll to the right. I'm just curious what

others think... good, bad, or neutral.

The Organic Movement

2009-06-17T20:45:00.009-05:00

Can someone please explain to me the whole appeal of the "Organic Movement?" Is this trend really supposed to be a good thing? I've been looking for some solid ideas supporting this movement for a while, but I still remain empty-handed.

Recently, I've seen everything from organic cleaning products to organic t-shirts. Unfortunately, I can't find any proof that these things have any more to offer than "normal" products.

The typical defense of organic goods goes something like, "It is better for the environment since we aren't adding harmful chemicals to anything." Seriously? According to this argument, people also must have been much healthier 100 years ago when being "organic" was the only option. Evidence supporting this idea is that the average life span back then was in the range of a whole 40 years... wait a minute... that doesn't make sense.

I'm also pretty sure that if you went to any third world county and offered the farmers nitrogen-based fertilizers instead of the manure they currently use, your gift would be welcomed with open arms and a smile. First of all, it is proven to be more effective at yielding healthy crops. Secondly, they wouldn't be relegated to frolicking in feces all day. What's funny is that some folks here in America actually play with poop by choice... and all for the sake of labeling themselves "organic." How noble!

From my own experience, I've seen no proof that organic food is any more appealing than its counterpart. For example, Betty Clair and I have been eating a lot of strawberries lately. The Kroger we frequent offers both organically grown and chemically-assisted strawberries. When deciding between the half-size, half-rotten organic fruits or the plump, juicy, chemical-injected berries, the task of making a wise decision isn't really that difficult.

Furthermore, why are we teaching children that "going organic" is the most efficient and economically sound way to produce agriculture? We might as well be instructing them that they can fly if they just flap their arms fast enough. Surprisingly enough, this inane idea is also sponsored by the ironically omniscient Obama administration.

Just earlier this year, the ever-fashionable Michelle Obama assumed a personal role in planting an organic garden at the White House with local elementary school children to indoctrinate them of the benefits of organic gardening. (Can't you tell how much she knows about farming by examining her wardrobe

selection for the event? Designer boots sure do come in handy when wielding a rake.) I would actually be offended if my child was being taught farming methods that produced inferior produce at a slower rate. Wouldn't their time be better utilized if they were sitting in a classroom being taught chemistry and the benefits it has offered to agriculture? Honestly, I believe getting rid of boll weevils and other pests is a more remarkable achievement than planting tomatoes and nurturing it with banana peels. I suppose they are using children in this experiment since they are still naive enough to fall for the idea.

On a lighter note: Betty Clair and I went to a Sounds game (minor league baseball) while her parents were visiting last weekend. Before leaving the house, she informed me that she didn't like what I was wearing and suggested I wear a green shirt instead of the blue one I had put on already. I found this a bit puzzling, but I decided to succumb to her request for the sake of maintaining peace in the family. However, I became aware of her reasoning for requesting my clothing change after arriving at the game and discovering that the promotion for the night was "Going Green." Betty Clair had full knowledge of this beforehand, and her only intention was to make me look like a silly, liberal hippie. Shame on her! Her mother was also in on the scheme. So, shame on Mrs. Barton!

Another Survey

2009-06-02T22:36:00.002-05:00

I have posted a new poll on the blog today. Leave a comment on why you voted the way you did. (Maybe this poll makes me even lamer, but I do actually watch the show a lot).

In case you didn't notice, I really proved Betty Clair wrong with the results of the previous poll. Nobody knows who Steve Madden is. My wife is so silly.

Ann's Take and My Plans for Next Week

2009-05-21T21:54:00.008-05:00

I had planned on discussing Obama's visit to Notre Dame a little bit, but the whole spectacle was a bit too nauseating for me really think about. Originally, I was under the impression that he was going to South Bend to give a commencement address. However, he seemed to be far too busy talking about his favorite subject, himself, to take the time to give any wise words to the graduates. This is a shame because they would probably have been the wisest words ever spoken by any man.

Fortunately, Miss Coulter decided to mention the Great One's trip in her column this week. I recommend that you take the time to read it. She is so cool!

I'm also heading down to Grand Bay tomorrow morning to hang out with the Hatcher clan while my bride is touring Italy with her sisters. I know my trip to Alabama seems to pale in comparison to hers, but I can assure that my time will be far more enjoyable because I will get to hang out with the greatest dog to ever exist... Leroy!

FYI: I may blog and I may not while I'm away. It all depends on whether my mom will let me commandeer her computer in order to share my thoughts. In my younger years, the only opinion allowed to be expressed at home was that of my mother, so it will not be surprising if that rule is still enforced and I have to sit in the corner for an entire week. Mama B looks sweet, huh? So deceiving...

I'm going to get in trouble for this.

One Year of Marital Bliss

2009-05-17T18:42:00.006-05:00

Has it already been a year?

Time sure flies...

In celebration of our first anniversary, Betty Clair and I spent the weekend at The Doolin House Inn, a cozy little bed and breakfast located in the town of Somerset, Kentucky. Betty Clair was left uninformed of our sleeping accommodations since I have been reminded on many occasions of how much she loves "surprises." To my pleasure, she was very satisfied with the reservations I had made (all on my own, too).

After checking into our room, the Man O' War, we took a quick stroll downtown to check out the sights. Being the dorks that we are, would you ever guess that one of the most fascinating things we saw on our walk was an independent pharmacy with a soda fountain? Hard to believe, huh?

The next morning, after filling our bellies with the delicious breakfast sandwiches prepared by Doolin House chefs/owners Allison and Chuck Soebick, we set out for our "play" portion of the trip. Betty Clair was also left unaware of what I had planned for Saturday so that I could pull off another "surprise." I was on a roll! She was not disappointed, however, when we took the short drive down to Cumberland Falls State Park to see the majestic waterfall known as the "Niagara of the South." We were able to do several miles of hiking and see some other falls in the park, as well.

That night, we also had the good fortune of discovering that the town of Somerset also boasts a working drive-in movie theater, 27 Drive-In. Since this was something neither of us had ever experienced before, we decided to make a date out of it. We saw the new X-Men movie, which was not as good as I had hoped, but made better because we had the opportunity to watch it the old-fashioned way. Here's a picture from their website of the back screen (they have two) where we watched our movie.

Our breakfast this morning was a type of bread pudding dish that was also quite wonderful. I'm not sure how it is made, but I definitely wouldn't mind eating it again soon. We checked out around 10:30 and made our way back to Nashville.

After coming home, we went down to Sears for what has undeniably been the most exciting part of the entire weekend. We went there so I could get Betty Clair's anniversary present. It is something she's been desiring for nearly a year now. It's something every other woman truly yearns for, also. Click here to see what the amazing gift she received today!

The Maddens

2009-05-13T13:30:00.003-05:00

Vote in the latest poll and help me settle a disagreement I am having with someone. I can't tell you who that person is, though. Thank you!

Describing the Obama Voter

2009-05-07T16:54:00.006-05:00

Okay, I'm aware this has the potential to come across a bit rude or harsh, but I don't really care about your feelings today. Here's what I think...

I firmly believe that if you voted for Barack Obama in Novemeber, you fit into one of the following categories:

The Foolishly Naive: You fit into this group if you think the liberal, progressive policies being implemented by the Obama administration are actually good for America. Most likely, you sincerely have good intentions and feel it is the duty of those who are able to help others in need. You consider yourself a strong proponent of equality, fairness, and other feel- goody words. You probably believe in global warming and feel that shutting down factories and decreasing driving time will help save the planet, but you fail to realize that those factories just move overseas and pollute to a greater extent. You also probably are under the assumption that many groups are discriminated against without realizing that all men actually do have the same right to marry any woman of their choosing, even if she is black, white, green, or polka-dotted.
The Stupid and/or Ignorant: You fit into this category if you voted for Obama for any specific reason such as, a) he is black, b) he has hope, c) he is change, d) he is not named Bush, etc. You are stupid and/or ignorant because you probably did not even pay the least bit of attention to any of his ideas and policies and continue to remain ignorant of what he is doing now that he's actually in office. You may have even voted for Obama because "his voice is so pretty," which ironically may actually be the most redeemable quality he has. There is an additional subgroup to this category which I've dubbed "The Trendy Voter." This group is considered stupid and/or ignorant because they too did not have any valid reason to vote for Obama. They are most likely 18-30 year-olds (or sixty-year sophomores) who felt like voting for ol' Barry is what all the smart, cool, and good-looking people are doing, so they should probably jump on board.
The Selfish and Evil: This group consists of the voters who were fully aware of the devastation an Obama presidency would bring to our country, but decided to vote for him with nothing less than purely selfish or evil motives. This is probably the smallest group but consists of many labor union members, Hollywood actors, domestic terrorists, racist reverends, and employees of Planned Parenthood. The selfish motives producing votes from the United Auto Workers Union have already proved beneficial, so it appears these votes have not been cast in vain. Unfortunately, this result will probably also hold true for the terrorists and abortion providers, as the new administration will do everything in their power to support their causes, too.

If you voted for Obama and don't feel like you fit into any of these categories, please leave a comment and explain your reasons for voting the way you did.

If you did not vote for Obama, please leave a comment and let me know which category you think most of his supporters best fit in with. If you feel an additional category is needed to describe his followers, let me know about that, also.

Swine Flu Poll

2009-04-30T23:16:00.000-05:00

Take the latest poll, please!

The Big Race

2009-04-29T16:29:00.007-05:00

Guest Blogger: Betty Clair Hatcher

Today, I'm writing on Ross's blog to tell you about my experience in running my first ever half-marathon!

I decided back in November that I wanted to train for the Country Music Half-Marathon held here in Nashville. The half-marathon is a 13.1 mile race. I'm not a runner, or even the slightest bit athletic, so I knew this would be a huge challenge. This kind of difficult task was exactly what a thrill-seeking, uncoordinated person like myself was looking for.

Running is more of a mental challenge than anything, and for people who aren't athletic, a mental challenge is a more realistic goal. Everyone knows how to run. There is no thought or skill involved and really no way to mess it up. Plus, I wanted to find out what it is like to get high... a runner's high, that is!

After months of training through blood, sweat, and tears, I was finally ready for my big day. The greatest distance I had run in my training was 10 miles. According to the training guide I was following, this was sufficient training to run 13.1 miles during the race.

I began to get very anxious when I discovered how many people would be running this race. Over 35,000 people had signed up for the marathon and half-marathon combined!

On race day, all my anxiety disappeared and was replaced by pure excitement. I got up at 4:45 a.m. to make it to Centennial Park (the starting point of the race) by 6:00 a.m. I am a fortunate woman because my husband got up with me and cooked me breakfast, gave me flowers with a "Good Luck" balloon, and drove me to Centennial Park.

Now, I'll walk you through the race... left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, etc. Sounds like fun, huh?

Actually, the race itself was very exciting! It was very difficult, but being surrounded by so many other people made running that far seem much easier. My running partner, Manda, was also very encouraging during the race. I got a little tired around mile 7, but fortunately she was there to keep my spirits up and keep going. I was able to return the favor toward the end of the race when she needed some extra motivation.

Just before the 13 mile mark, I saw Ross standing on the side of the road waiting to see my run by. Since I run so fast, he didn't get a chance to take a picture of me then. However, he did hurry to the next corner to wait on me again and got some neat video of us running.

I finished the race soon after that with a time of 2:42:55. I was very pleased with my time since my goal was to finish under 3 hours.

I really enjoyed getting to prepare and participate in a half-marathon. It was very rewarding to set a goal and see it accomplished. I have my sights set a little bit higher for next year's race, though. I am going to try to run the full marathon!

Here are some pictures and video from the race for you to enjoy!

"Carb-Loading" the Night Before the Race

Eating My Race Day Breakfast

The Finish Line

My Medal

Me Displaying Proper Running Technique

Manda Doing the Same

Me, Manda, and Sarah After the Race

How to Celebrate Earth Day

2009-04-22T16:59:00.007-05:00

Today is Earth Day!

Wikipedia describes this event as "a day designed to inspire awareness and appreciation for the Earth's environment." This is a very noble task, indeed. Therefore, I have come up with several ways to celebrate this "holiday" that will help keep the planet clean and healthy.

Here they are:

Water-Saving Tips

1. Do not bathe. This is a method utilized by many global warming activists to help reduce

water waste. Reportedly, many of these activists have been continuously using this strategy for decades.

2. Do not flush your toilet. Like the previous method, this too will help reduce water waste. No matter what you or your family "deposits" there today, please refrain from flushing. Betty Clair and I have managed to save a total of 9.6 gallons of water already today!

3. Do not wash your clothes. Janeane Garofalo is the celebrity role model of this method as she has been wearing unwashed clothing since 1998. Doesn't she look honorable?

Tree-Saving Tips

1. Do not spend money. Since the destructions of trees is inevitable in the printing of dollar bills, spending money should be avoided at all costs to show your personal horror with the act of tree harvesting. This would particularly be a valuable method for President Obama and Congress to exercise.

2. Use NO products made from trees. This includes any furniture made from wood and all forms of paper. Yes, I even mean toilet paper. You should not indulge in the luxury of wiping your butt on this very important day.

Emission-Reducing Tips

1. Walk to work. I realize your place of employment may be 40 miles away, but utilizing man's great invention of the automobile on a day this important would be nearly as evil as killing small puppies.

2. Use no electricity at all. This means everywhere. If a place of business feels it necessary to leave their lights on during operating hours, you should boycott them. Who says you can't sell groceries or other goods in complete darkness? Do you really need to know if that tomato is fresh? Even if you are a diabetic with insulin requiring refrigeration, you are out of luck. You must sacrifice your own health needs for the needs of dear Mother Earth. Can't you hear her crying while you selfishly try to keep your medicine cold with that massive cooling device of yours?

3. Walk around nude. Since your garments were most likely produced in a carbon-emitting factory, you should display your contempt for this awful practice by not clothing yourself. Offensive? It doesn't matter; Mother Earth is dying.

4. Do not fart. Abstain from releasing your self-made greenhouse gases. Whatever it takes, hold it in. We can't stop the cows from doing it, but you can stop yourself!

Nashville Tea Party - Round 2

2009-04-16T10:36:00.006-05:00

Yesterday, I attended the Tax Day Tea Party here in our beautiful city of Nashville. I knew the turnout would be much greater than the first event, but the actual attendance exceeded what I had expected. Official estimates from police reports put the number of good Americans there around 10,000! Of course, our liberal local newspaper reported it at only 3,000, though. Surprised?

You should already know what this is all about (at least from reading my last post about it), so I won't explain the purpose of these events again. I will just say that it appears to be getting pretty big. Hopefully, it is leading to more things that our out-of-touch Congress and President might take notice of eventually. Click the previous link to see for yourself. I really have a lot of trouble believing the whole "smartest president ever" thing when he's not even aware of millions of Americans protesting his most prized legislation. Even George W., the "dumbest president ever," was aware of it when just one stupid woman was hanging out on his ranch all the time.

I also can't help but appreciate the way CNN covers the tea parties. Fair and Balanced!

Here are a few pictures I took from the tea party...

Before it all started

The people behind me stretched all the way back to the street.

I think Marsha Blackburn was speaking here. She is cool like Sarah Palin.

I am Obama's Priority

2009-04-14T13:50:00.004-05:00

There really is a lot going on in the world right now.

There are Muslim Somali pirates attacking shipping vessels and holding American citizens hostage, North Korea is restarting their nuclear programs, and a murderer is being convicted while donning a "Barack Obama Rocks" pin.

However, our leaders don't seem to be too concerned with addressing such trivial issues. They have much more important things to worry about.

Instead, the Department of Homeland Security has issued an assessment in order to effectively deal with the apparent rise in Right Wing Extremism that is posing a threat to our country. I guess that makes me... a terrorist?

Check out some of their findings in the official government document:

The DHS/Office of Intelligence and Analysis (I&A) has no specific information that domestic rightwing terrorists are currently planning acts of violence...

... but they still found it necessary to use government funding to research this issue. You can't help but appreciate government work, huh? Furthermore...

Proposed imposition of firearms restrictions and weapons bans likely would attract new members into the ranks of rightwing extremist groups...

Since I purchased a gun in anticipation of these proposed (i.e. inevitable) impositions from the Obama administration, I guess I fit into this category. Crazy gun owners... I mean, terrorists! Additionally...

DHS/I&A is concerned that rightwing extremists will attempt to recruit and radicalize returning veterans in order to boost their violent capabilities.

I'm so glad they love and respect our soldiers. Read on...

Rightwing extremist paranoia of foreign regimes could escalate or be magnified in the event of an economic crisis or military confrontation, harkening back to the "New World Order" conspiracy theories of the 1990s.

Wait a minute, isn't a "New World Order" what British Prime Minister Gordon Brown said was emerging just a few days ago? But, noooo, you're a terrorist threat if you're worried about our leaders becoming too chummy with Hugo Chavez and Kim Jong Il! Even more...

Rightwing extremist chatter on the Internet continues to focus on the economy, the perceived loss of U.S. jobs in manufacturing and construction sectors, and home foreclosures.

I suppose my right wing internet chatter on this little ol' blog puts me in the category of those posing a direct threat to our country's welfare, also. I'm afraid the FBI may break down my door any minute now and confiscate my keyboard. I should type quickly.

Moreover, I'm not so sure the "loss of U.S. jobs" they mention here is only "perceived." According to their own reports, it is actually taking place. Obviously, they're not too bright, thought, since they can't even figure out that "right wing" is two words, not one.

Could you even begin to imagine the outrage from the mainstream media if Bush's administration had put out a document discussing the dangers of liberal extremism? Ironically, liberal extremism actually does pose a considerable threat in the form of radical environmentalists, NOW, PETA, and Rosie O'Donnell. (Yes, she may eventually consume the entire world's food supply).

Regardless of all these threats that Obama and his boys see looming, they can not point out a specific example of any planning of such activities in the entire document. However, they could very well be passively referring to the tea parties being held all across the country tomorrow. It would make a whole lot of sense considering the timing of this document's release. But, I'm sure they're not really scared of a few groups of overtaxed citizens holding signs somewhere, are they?

Go to a Tea Party tomorrow if you love your freedom! Locations are listed here.

Special Treatment

2009-04-11T15:04:00.008-05:00

How do you measure the carbon footprint of a pizza?

I'm not really sure what the answer is to that question. But, when you fly two chefs and all the ingredients nearly 2,000 miles round-trip to cook it, I'm sure it's fairly respectable.

Why would anyone need to do such a thing, you ask. Well, I honestly can't answer that question, either. (Hard to believe since I know everything, huh?)

The only response I can possibly put together is that this person is simply a spoiled elitist whose feeling of self-worth is so extraordinary that he can't see the absurdity of this action. This person would also have to have very little concern for environmental matters since a jet being flown simply to prepare pizzas would emit a lot of atmospheric pollution. He would also have to be way out of touch with the "common man" since no regular middle-class family could ever afford such a luxury.

Want to guess who it is? It shouldn't be hard. Probably the CEO of General Motors, AIG, or other greedy corporation, huh?

Wrong!

This was done by our very considerate and compassionate leader, President Barack Obama. Apparently, he feels that his Thursday lunch is so important that such a request is justifiable. Oh, the pomposity is nauseating!

Furthermore, Pi Restaurant (the preparer of the meal) displays their complete ignorance of this move on their website by boasting about how "green" they are because of their "significant carbon-offset purchases." Again, just how many carbon-offsets does one have to purchase if cooking 20 pizzas requires flying halfway across the country?

I'm so confused.

Side Note: In case you were unaware, I was victorious in the NCAA Basketball Tournament Challenge. Was there ever any doubt I would win, though?

I am currently alone in third place in the Masters Best Ball Challenge, with Neely in the lead. It's not over yet, though. I'm coming back.

Grand Canyon Trip '09

2009-04-10T12:10:00.009-05:00

Here are some pictures from our trip this week to the Grand Canyon with Trey and Laura Beth. As you can probably tell, they weren't all taken at the Grand Canyon.

We actually flew into Las Vegas on Sunday and spent the night there before driving to the Canyon the following morning. We made a quick stop at the Hoover Dam on the way, too. Sound familiar, Brad?

We arrived at the park that afternoon and took in some of the scenery at the designated viewing areas. On Tuesday, we woke up early enough to see the sunrise and stayed all day to eventually see it set, which was definitely one of the most amazing things I've ever witnessed.

After watching the sun come up and eating breakfast, we went on a hike that took us about two miles down the canyon, which didn't even begin to approach making it all the way down to the river. It did, however, provide some pretty impressive surroundings.

Enjoy!

Vote in my latest poll, too.

Offensive, Lazy, or Just Plain Stupid?

2009-04-04T17:53:00.006-06:00

Wasn't it already lame enough when all the Obamas could come up with were plastic helicopters and incorrectly formatted DVD's for our British friends? Surely he wouldn't make the same mistakes again with our strongest ally... right?

WRONG!

During his pointless trip to Europe this week, he had the opportunity to repair some of these recent mistakes in his meeting with the Queen of England. As expected, with such a momentous occasion pending, careful thought was put in to what would be gifted to her majesty on behalf of the United States. President Obama and the entire White House staff made certain they they chose a unique and meaningful present for this event. They didn't want to mess up again... right?

WRONG AGAIN!

Unfortunately, after several days to deliberate the appropriate management of this task, the best thing the administration could come up with for the Queen is (drum roll, please)... an iPod. Yes, an iPod! Making matters more absurd is the fact that the queen already has an iPod. It's even public knowledge what type of device she owns. Couldn't the president just have done a simple google search to check up on this (especially considering how tech savvy he claims to be)?

In all fairness, I probably shouldn't expect him to be very proficient at the act of giving anyway, being that his entire career has been based on the act of "taking." Also, I should just get used to the fact that the next four years will be quite embarassing on many, many levels. If only that was the sole concern America has to worry about with Barry O!

Note: There will be no blogging from yours truly for the next few days. I am going to the Grand Canyon for a few days.

(Gasp, did he just say he is going on vacation in the middle of the recession? How inconsiderate and vain!)

Yes, I did! I am not participating in the "recession." Peace out, homeys!

Oops...

2009-03-31T22:00:00.003-06:00

Apparently my link to the Masters Best Ball Challenge is not working unless you are already signed in to ESPN.com. So, use the link here first, log in, and then search for the group called "Group from the Blog" to join it. I'm sorry for my little mistake. Let me know if you have any more problems.

More Fantasy Sports

2009-03-30T16:19:00.003-06:00

This one may not appeal to as large of a group, but I have set up a fantasy group to play in the Masters Best Ball Challenge. The link to sign up is here. If you're interested, check it out. If not, don't worry about it. I can deal with your rejection.

Update: I am now making a strong comeback in my NCAA Tournament Challenge. My poor choices early in the tournament found me in last place after the second round (even behind Betty Clair, who picked Boston College solely for their initials). However, my more careful selections in rounds 3 and 4 now have me tied for second place. Click here for the scoreboard.

Obama Wants You! (And Your Kiddies, Too)

2009-03-26T19:23:00.006-06:00

Didn't seem like much at the time, huh? Well, read on, my friend!

This is getting REALLY scary! More info on this travesty here.

I'm also relieved to see Congress taking up issues such as this.

That is what we're paying them to do, right?

Go to a Tea Party!

New Poll

2009-03-25T18:31:00.002-06:00

New poll on the right. What's your answer?

Fulfilled Promises

2009-03-24T11:12:00.000-06:00

Need More to be Disappointed About?

2009-03-22T14:59:00.005-06:00

If so, just click here to read more about the ignorance and appallingly low class of our great president. What a great way to treat your best ally. Obama is a joke!

Also, this is pretty ironic. Have a good day, friends!

Someone Must Be Bored

2009-03-21T18:07:00.008-06:00

What is going going in the brilliant and incredible mind of our magnificent president right now? Doesn't he know there are important things going on in the country? I'm sure he does since he is more intelligent and wiser than any other human to ever walk the planet. However, many of his recent actions prove otherwise.

Apparently, between wrecking the economy and funding infanticide, the Great One has lots of spare time on his hands to travel around the country doing whatever he pleases.

For example, for the past several days, ESPN has shown coverage of president Obama taking time out of his schedule to fill out an NCAA tournament bracket, going through the details and reasoning of each selection he makes. Why can't he put that much thought into the selection of Cabinet nominees? Even Coach K agrees with me (more respect given to him now). Making matters even worse, this avid basketball enthusiast filled out a bracket that would be placed dead last in my pool at the moment. His first round picks produced 19 correct selections out of 32, placing his foresight and analytical abilities just above those of a chimpanzee. Uh oh, I better be careful with the primate comparisons.

Our glorious president also had the time to make a leisurely appearance on The Tonight Show earlier this week. I'm probably mistaken here, but I had always been under the impression that these appearances were typically reserved for celebrities with little true talent promoting works that are generally unimpressive. Oh wait... that is what he was doing!

In all seriousness though, this new precedent of our leader going on a comedy show to push an agenda is just awkward, at best. If he were actually as brilliant as Chris Matthews wants you to believe, couldn't he just create a plan that people would like for its merits alone?

Maybe I am the simple-minded one, but I just have a pretty difficult time understanding how he has time for all this gaiety. Does he really have nothing better to do as the most powerful person in the world, like I don't know, take care of "the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression?"

Make Your Picks

2009-03-14T13:21:00.004-06:00

With the arrival of the NCAA basketball tournament, I have set up a group to compete in the bracket challenge. The link here should get you to the page if you want to play. Don't be scared. I'll try to be merciful.

E-mail me if the link doesn't work for you. I will send you an e-mail with a link that should work that should work.

The brackets won't be available until Sunday night after the Selection Committee decides who gets invited. So, you can sign up now, but you will have to wait until then to actually fill out the bracket.

My e-mail address is RossHatcher08@gmail.com if you need it.

Good luck!

Welcome, Evalina!

2009-03-13T17:35:00.003-06:00

My sister's daughter... born a few hours ago! What a little angel!

Pictures courtesy of Becky Hatcher's iPhone and FaceBook

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS! (Featuring Michael Moore)

2009-03-13T10:33:00.001-06:00

Obama Still Hates Babies

2009-03-09T13:57:00.008-06:00

Obama is at it again, although a little more indirectly this time. Earlier today, he signed an executive order to lift the ban on government funding for embryonic stem cell research in the United States. This ban was initiated years ago by President George W. Bush.

Now, I am very much on the side of medical research and finding new cures for diseases and conditions. I think it's a good thing when diseases get cured and people can improve their quality of life. There is one little problem I have with the approach they are trying to utilize here, though. IT DOESN'T WORK!!!

Proponents of embryonic stem cell research claim that the utility of this strategy is yet to be discovered because our government imposed too many restrictions on access to its study. Now with free reign of all the freshly aborted babies to poke and prod at will, treatments will soon abound for everything from acne to cancer!

What they fail to acknowledge, however, is that research actually has been proceeding unimpeded in this field all around the world for years. It has even been taking place in America, just void of federal funding. And can you guess how many cures they have discovered with this novel technique? Zero.

That's right, with thousands of doctors all around the world receiving overly sufficient funding and support, this research is unable to come up with even a cure for warts!

There is no promise whatsoever for this method to cure anything in the future. Scientists have been trying for years and are yet to make their first breakthrough with stem cells from aborted babies. Furthermore, if there actually was any hope of finding a new way to treat and cure diseases with this method, some rich guy would be pouring his fortune into dead baby stem cell research? I'm sure there's a lot of money and glory to be had for the person who finds a cure for cancer. But when things don't work, you know what the best fix always is... throw government money at it!

Let's analyze some of the comments (aka. lies and distortions) he used today during his pompous "signing ceremony." Here are some quotes...

Medical miracles do not happen simply by accident. They result from painstaking and costly research, from years of lonely trial and error, much of which never bears fruit, and from a government willing to support that work.

So, when he refers to "costly research" here, is he talking about all the babies that must be sacrificed for this research to progress. The phrase "never bears fruit" could also be used in the same light. I'm so glad our government is "willing to support" things that don't work. Here's another...

It is about ensuring that scientific data is never distorted or concealed to serve a political agenda – and that we make scientific decisions based on facts, not ideology.

Since we've looked for evidence of the potential benefits of dead baby stem cell research and are still empty-handed, who exactly is distorting scientific data to "serve a political agenda?" I believe that would be you, Mr. President. The "facts" show that adult stem cell research has been the most promising mode in this field to date. It's just a shame that obtaining adult stem cells doesn't require infanticide since that doesn't serve the president's political agenda. And just one more...

Promoting science isn't just about providing resources – it's also about protecting free and open inquiry. It's about letting scientists like those who are here today do their jobs, free from manipulation or coercion, and listening to what they tell us, even when it's inconvenient – especially when it's inconvenient.

Alright, I have some inquiry. Since the president feels that deciding when life begins is "above my pay grade," shouldn't he just play it on the safe side in the meantime and not promote the killing of babies with functioning organs? And, while he's at it, he could listen to some of the "inconvenient" things we pro-lifers have to say about his actions.

I guess that would all just be too open-minded, though.

Obama Throws Like a Girl

2009-03-05T15:11:00.003-06:00

Obambi actually is left-handed, but a 10 year-old girl could throw better than that with any hand. What a sissy! I really feel sorry for the White Sox, though, because this is who will be throwing out their "first pitch" for the season (another weenie looking throw in the link provided). What a shame for the Sox! They will be destined to fail... just like Obambi's "stimulus" plan.

On the Bubble

2009-03-04T12:34:00.006-06:00

Last night, the Auburn Tigers men's basketball team completed a season sweep of the University of Alabama with a 77-73 comeback victory in Tuscaloosa. A sold-out crowd, Senior night, and even the presence of Nick Saban was not enough to help the Tide in this game. The game was televised nationally by ESPN, so the entire country had the good fortune of witnessing the conquest of the Tide on their home court. It's a shame the game doesn't really have any national implications, though. Or does it?

With their victory last night, Auburn was able to strengthen their argument in the debate over whether they should be invited to the NCAA Championship tournament. There are several teams with similar records, RPI, and strength of schedule that are included in discussions of "bubble teams," but Auburn is yet to be mentioned very often in this context by media experts.

I'm an admittedly biased Auburn fan, but I'm still not certain we are deserving of that type of recognition. While we are definitely one of the hottest teams in the country right now (and that should be considered), our overall resume is currently still a bit short of deserving a tourney invite. I do think it would be utterly shocking to not receive an NIT invitation at this point, though.

A win over a strong LSU team on our home court Saturday could go a long way toward changing that perspective, though. With a win this weekend and a couple victories in the SEC tournament, I believe we would definitely be deserving of an NCAA bid. Our resume would receive an impressive little boost with those marks and would make it difficult for the selection committee to ignore our team. Maybe that is just my bias coming into play again, but I can accept that.

War Eagle!

Warming in the Snow

2009-03-03T16:38:00.006-06:00

Yesterday, a group of global warming alarmists gathered in Washington D.C. to stage yet another protest against the coal industry. As you would expect, this protest was not much different than the other protests, rallies, or marches put together by these clowns, except for the fact that this one took place in the midst of a snowstorm.

Maybe, it's just me, but I would have a really hard time trying to convince people the planet is too hot while simultaneously fighting off frostbite. That just seems like a hard sell. I realize that I'm no expert on effective debating skills, but even I can understand that their asinine claims would seem more valid if their teeth weren't chattering so much.

In my humble, yet always accurate opinion, their beliefs and rhetoric are analogous to eating dog feces and claiming it has a pleasant taste. You can cram the poop down your throat and say plenty of nice things about its flavor, but anyone with a lick of sense is able to recognize the truth. You don't even have to look that hard for it. Heck, in the case of global warming, you could even just check a thermometer!

Note: Even the great state of Alabama is getting snow this year... in March, no less! I'm going to go bang my head against a wall for a while.

Evolution of Dance

2009-03-03T10:55:00.002-06:00

Just a little something to make you smile...

Media Coverage of the Tea Party

2009-02-28T09:41:00.004-06:00

Some local news coverage here and here (video on the second link).

It's really cute how the local liberal media downplays the whole thing by using comments like "dozens of people" (from the local CBS affiliate), when all official estimates accounted for at least 600 attendants. "Dozens" seems like a really inadequate way to describe that number. WKRN (the ABC affiliate) got the numbers right at least, but just couldn't help themselves and had to throw in comments implying laziness by saying protestors used the "same signs" from a previous protest. On the other hand, I guess they could just ignore it all like the national liberal media!

Let's just hope the open-minded President and Congress paid a little attention to what Americans were saying yesterday.

Nashville Tea Party

2009-02-27T16:22:00.007-06:00

Earlier toady, I got the opportunity to participate in my first official political rally! Despite the unpleasant weather, difficulties of Nashville parking, and being fairly sick, I carried my hand-made poster downtown and staked my ground at Legislative Plaza with many other good Americans for the Nashville Tea Party.

There were actually many tea parties taking place all around the country today, most of which are listed here. The primary purpose of these rallies was to bring attention to the outrageous level of spending from Obama and Congress right now and let them know that manyAmericans are unhappy about it.

There were plenty of well made signs with strong, concise messages being carried by my fellow protestors. Some examples include, "Obamanomics: Chains We Can Believe In" and If I'm Paying Your Mortgage, When Can I Move In?" There were several speakers, such as Rep. Susan Linn and Tennessee Republican Party Chair Robin Smith, who delivered short messages about how the spending has really gotten out of hand and encouraged citizens to voice their discontent with it all.

It really was a lot of fun, and hopefully it will lead to more events like this in the future where opinions of the majority can be expressed. I will definitely be in attendance, even if it makes me look like a jobless hippie.

Here are a couple of pictures from the rally that I found on the internet (Al Gore's most famous invention). I'm in the first one with the white hat holding my cell phone up to take my own pictures of the event. The other (hat tip to Libertas Populi) is of the guy I walked with from the parking deck to Legislative Plaza. I don't know his name, but I like the sign he made. Since you're probably dying to know, mine read, "'Punished With A Baby'? Let's Punish Our Kids With Debt." It wasn't very pretty since I only had time to make it after arriving at the rally (some people have to work), so I'm not showing it to you.

Some good pictures from the other tea parties around the country can be seen here.

Note: I'm deeply sorry for not posting in over a week. I hope you all had enough Xanax to get you through this difficult time.

Some Good News

2009-02-18T11:54:00.002-06:00

I'm proud of both North Dakota and the Pope today. Good for them!

Told You They Worship Him

2009-02-16T15:43:00.003-06:00

Click here for the rest of the story.

Are We There Yet?

2009-02-15T20:52:00.002-06:00

Not quite, but we sure are well on the way (long, but good).

Also a good read here about The One. Check it out. I'm too tired/lazy to write anything myself tonight.

My Dear Mother

2009-02-12T16:48:00.005-06:00

I just want to take this opportunity to ask everyone to keep my mother in your thoughts. She has recently been diagnosed with bonebreakdownicus and will now require the use of a walker. At least it's a cool one with wheels! She is a bit insecure about her newly acquired handicap, so try to be mindful of this when you see her out in public. It's also a good thing she has completely lost her vision and some mental abilities with her old age and is unable to read my blog.

As you can see by the background of the picture, her lack of proper mental faculties has also led her to redecorate her entire home as if she is living in the '70s. We feel this is just a desperate attempt on her part to feel younger again since she is still somewhat aware of her declining functions. It's really sad to see her aging much faster than her elder siblings.

Furthermore, my father's ability to be of assistance to her is also diminishing rapidly. This is evidenced by the fact that he will be aging into a new decade of life this week (50) and is now in need of heavy amounts of daily medications. On a positive note, he will now have access to a myriad of senior citizen benefits (just got an AARP card in the mail.)

Okay, I made all that up. Well, my dad is actually turning 50 on Saturday, so be sure to wish him a Happy Birthday if you see him. I really wrote this so I could put up the picture up of my mom leaning on a walker. Isn't she funny?

Typical Obamite

2009-02-12T11:52:00.003-06:00

I would be embarrassed knowing that this is the type of person that supported me. It just goes to show how much (or how little) intelligence it took to have voted for Obama.

'Bout Time

2009-02-08T20:38:00.001-06:00

Here's a quick read. Why couldn't he have acted like this during the campaign?

Contacting Congress

2009-02-08T13:40:00.004-06:00

Do your children and grandchildren a favor and send your members of Congress e-mails to let them know how tragic and devastating the "stimulus" plan will be. Don't worry about how pretty it sounds; they don't actually read them. However, they do keep a count of how many people are for or against a certain plan of action. You can do so by going here and clicking on your state to find their contact information. It's one of the few options we have.

Obama National Anthem

2009-02-08T13:26:00.001-06:00

The Man or the Plan?

2009-02-06T15:18:00.007-06:00

Here's something else I have a really hard time comprehending.

B. Hussein Obama's approval rating right now is at an impressive 62%. During his first week, he enjoyed a rating as high as 83% before taking somewhat of a dip. What's confusing about these numbers is that most Americans disagree with just about every policy decision he has made so far.

Want some examples? Let's look at some polls!

BO thinks that these scalding hot temperatures we're all experiencing right now (in the teens up here) are due to man's reckless abandon for dear Mother Earth. With this firm, yet moronic, belief he holds, he feels we must make huge sacrifices, such as not driving a cars that exceed 40 mph, in order to protect the planet. However, even if we were to concede the ridiculous idea that the world will warm 0.4 degrees some time over the next billion years, most people don't even think man is causing this tragedy. In fact, only 41% of people think it is man's fault at all. In 2006, 46% of people held this view, but that number is apparently improving for us sensible folks. It sure is a shame for Democrats when people get a little informed.

Since it is one of my all-time favorite issues, I'll also discuss how people disagree with his abortion policies. As anyone with the least bit of sense would expect, the number of people who support Obama's decision to fund abortions overseas is also extremely low. A Gallup poll done earlier this month shows that barely one-third of Americans support this policy. I'm assuming pollsters were able to get that high a number by asking someone if they are for the Mexico City Policy. That sounds like a good thing to support... right?

When it comes to his most important project so far, being the massive spending bill he is currently pushing, people again hold views that are in stark contrast to those held by the president. As of today, support for this piece of legislation is at a mere 37%. It seems that the more time people are given to learn about what is actually contained in the bill, the less they like it. Apparently, that's why he is now employing fear tactics as a means to push it through Congress before Americans are able to leatn what is going on. I'm sorry, Mr. President, but it won't be easy to convince people that their tax dollars are being spent wisely when you want to spend $650 million on digital TV coupons, $850 million on Amtrak, or $1.2 billion to provide youth Summer jobs,. Note: As it is used here, the term "youth" pertains to people up to the age of 24.

But the question remains, if people disagree with everything Obama does or wants to do, why does his approval rating remain so high? I'm actually pretty dumbfounded by this phenomenon. I guess it's just the magical way he talks about his policies, and not the results they would actually produce. Well, it could be the way the sun glistens off his chiseled pectorals. I wonder...

Fortunately, his celebrity status does seem to be diminishing somewhat as people are beginning to realize what he actually stands for. It's a good thing, too, because I'm tired of seeing him on every magazine cover at CVS. If he would just stop giving the media tingly feelings all the time, we might be able to learn even more about the outrageous thing he has planned for our great country.

And It Happened Peacefully

2009-01-31T13:54:00.004-06:00

I guess the fact that things like this take place in Iraq is something else we can blame on Bush. How come the new president doesn't care to acknowledge it? Hmm...

Newest Toy

2009-01-30T16:19:00.007-06:00

Yeah, I just had to do it before my Constitutional right to do so no longer exists. It's a 1971 Browning A-5 Light 12 made in Belgium. Pretty sweet! I'm going to take it here to try it out pretty soon.

She likes to pose!

I like my new toy

Be sure to read the next post, too. I know that's two posts very close together, but I'm trying to make up some since I've not written in nearly a week. Oh yeah, Sarah (BC's twin sister) is visiting us right now and wanted to be mentioned on here. We've been having a lot of fun, but I think I have to take her shopping in a bit since Betty Clair is at work and not able to do so herself. Those twins sure are good at getting what they want!

What If...

2009-01-30T14:31:00.004-06:00

Imagine that Obama did not win the election in November. Instead, imagine that the country elected a man or woman who secretly hated America.

Let's assume this new "president" had such a strong disdain for the country that his only reason for being in office was to cause as much damage as possible while the opportunity was available. This person would immediately set forth with an extreme agenda that would cripple the economy and weaken our military defense. Perhaps, he might even be open to the idea of simply killing millions of innocent Americans every year.

Now that you have an idea of this person in your head, can you think of any way at all the policies of a genocidal maniac such as this would differ from those of Obama himself?

First of all, this $819 billion tax theft in which he takes so much pride is just the type of thing our worst enemy would like to see happen to our country. We will be so preoccupied spending gross amounts of taxpayer dollars with unnecessary construction projects and bailing out ACORN that we won't have any money left to stop a silly terrorist attack. It's very likely that ol' Bin Laden is getting pretty excited in some cave right about now. Then again, Bin Laden is just one little guy over there... or is his capture the only measure of success? Obama kept changing his mind so much on that topic that I don't remember which is true.

Secondly, his promises (a.k.a. threats) to weaken our defense system are also the same type of thing that the other person I described would plan to do with the position Obama now holds. Unless you've been living under a bridge in India, you're well aware by now that he doesn't plan to keep military funding at its current level. See video. I'm just hoping he is not a man of his word, because some of those promises he has made are quite frightening. Then again, his message is sometimes hard to pick up on because everything he says is so pretty that I just get overwhelmed by it all.

I'm going to assume you already know what I'm referring to when I mention his openness to killing innocent Americans. If not, then I'll just let you know I'm hitting on the abortion issue again. Just like an America-hating tyrant, his conscience seems to find nothing wrong at all with the mass murder of the most helpless Americans of all. How a man with this view can ever be considered compassionate is far beyond my comprehension. But, I guess I'm just a dumb guy from Alabama.

More Change

2009-01-24T20:17:00.004-06:00

Another fine use of your tax dollars (click here)... especially considering the economic "crisis!" Need I even discuss how asinine it is to shut down Guantanamo Bay? I miss W.

Ski NC '09

2009-01-22T11:07:00.002-06:00

Since I now have the ski trip pictures uploaded to the computer, I figured I could post an update about how the trip went.

The six of us (Britt, Katie, Trey, Laura Beth, Betty Clair, and myself) all arrived on Friday night and made out our plans for the next day over a thrilling game of Cranium. These plans mainly consisted of sleeping late, eating a late breakfast, and making it to the slopes when we felt like it. So, after lunch on Saturday we were finally energized enough to get properly equipped and dressed to give this skiing thing a shot.

Just as a background note, every girl on the trip had more individual experience with skiing than all the guys had combined. It was actually the first attempt ever for Britt and myself.

Getting on with the story, my first trip down the mountain wasn't very enjoyable. After falling on my face a mere 912 times, I wasn't feeling very confident I would enjoy this new activity. However, after each consecutive trip up the ski lift and back down the mountain, I grew more comfortable in my ability to handle this task. At the end of the day, I was flying down the mountain past my companions who apparently stopped to watch in amazement. It was even reported that there were comment such as, "Was that Ross?" The answer to this question was, of course, "Yes." I'm sure it was hard to recognize me, though, as I probably just appeared to be a red blur.

Okay, that probably sounds a bit exaggerated, but I actually did catch on to the whole skiing thing rather quickly and was able to beat everyone of my fellow travelers down the mountain with ease by the end of the day. That doesn't mean I still wasn't falling on my face in my speedy efforts, however. My quickest run of the day was the only one that caused me injury since I still have this habit developed in childhood of sticking my tongue out when concentrating. This habit didn't lead to nice results when a fall caused my left knee to slam against my chin, causing me to bite my tongue, and subsequently leaving my DNA all over the fresh snow. I'm just calling that little mess "leaving my mark."

In all, everyone seemed to really enjoy the trip. We were even contemplating things we could do for our next endeavor, such as a cruise, a beach trip, or returning to Maggie Valley in the Summer for white water rafting and fishing.

Okay, I'm tired of writing and I probably need to get on with my day. Check out the pictures below, though. I apologize for not having this post more consolidated and organized. I'm still trying to figure out all the intricacies of working the Mac.

Pictures from Ski NC '09

2009-01-22T09:41:00.012-06:00

Our cabin... not really. They did have Lincoln Logs there, though!

This was actually our cabin. BC did a nice job picking it out.

Me standing on the ice in the river.

Me and Trey hanging out on the big rock.

Me and BC waiting in line at Cataloochee Ski Area

Still waiting...

Yes, the snow was coming down pretty good when we were leaving.

The cute couples back at the cabin

Everyone showing off in the hot tub.

I'd never been in a hot tub when it was snowing. Kind of cool!

The view from the big rock on our last day

Pomposity

2009-01-21T16:28:00.000-06:00

Is there anything at all this guy does that doesn't just reek of elitism. It makes me feel nauseated. Just check out some of the pictures.

We'll start with the classic "Obama Chin-lift." This just seems to happen way too often. I mean, I know he looks down on people like me, but he could at least try to hide it a little better.

I'm not even sure what's going on here. Definitely doesn't look very "down to earth," though.

And this? Who wears jeans and tucks in their POLO shirt when riding a bike? This is the first time I've ever seen it. At least the bike doesn't have the little frilly things on the handlebars.

Yet another first for me. Wearing pants while playing basketball? Not something a grown man should do. I've only seen 6-year-olds do that. Heck, he's not even looking at the goal here. What kind of shot is this? Furthermore, he's wearing running shoes. Shouldn't he be worried about breaking an ankle with his wicked moves?

Even the old white dude looks more like he knows what he's doing than B. Hussein, who is again wearing pants. I guess he is a bit ashamed of his chicken legs.

A Momentous Occasion

2009-01-20T18:57:00.003-06:00

Today, a remarkable and exciting thing happened in America. No, I'm not talking about about B. Hussein Obama getting inaugurated. The adjectives I use for that event are actually tragic and devastating. There was another event that took place today that has been a long time coming. Betty Clair and I have anticipated this moment for months.

At approximately 2:32 p.m. central standard time, I put her car through yet another emissions test, which it had failed yet again last week. This time, however, it passed with flying colors and we will finally be allowed to get her a Tennessee car tag. It only took several months of mechanic work and hundred of dollars to get to this point. (Thank you again for your influence, Mr. Gore.)

Inaugurating the Anointed One

2009-01-16T10:33:00.002-06:00

Another example of American tax dollars hard at work...

Now, I'm off to North Carolina for a little ski trip. Be back next week!

The Maids

2009-01-14T11:57:00.002-06:00

I know this story is a couple of days old, but I saw it again today and it still makes me want to vomit. Some people just need to get over themselves!

O' Christmas Tree

2009-01-11T17:35:00.004-06:00

It seems the country (or at least a sample consisting of the people that read this blog) can not come to a conclusion as to which is better, real or artificial Christmas trees. This being the case, and with my lofty position as author of the blog, I have decided to cast the deciding vote. All things being considered, I officially declare that real Christmas trees are better. End of Debate... unless you want to leave comments defending your position and try to change my mind. Be warned... that's not an easy thing to do.

Shock and Awe

2009-01-09T14:58:00.007-06:00

I knew it was going to happen. It was obvious from the beginning. I even told Betty Clair exactly how it would play out.

Don't know what I'm talking about? I'm referring to the reactions of democrats in Congress to the appointments of Roland Burris to the Senate and later Leon Panetta as CIA director. Allow me to elaborate a little.

I'll start with Rod Blagojevich's selection of Roland Burris for the vacant Illinois Senate seat left by PEBO. At first, Congressional leaders were shocked (note the title) that the dirtbag governor would exercise his power and proceed with this appointment during such controversial times. They promised to refuse to seat Burris because his selection would be so tainted. With such turmoil and controversy surrounding his appointment, democrat leaders like Harry Reid wanted to be sure to show the country that they in no way wanted to be part of such egregious dealings. However, they have recently backed off a bit from these threats because, in reality, these types of dealings don't bother their conscience at all. They just want you to think that. Truth be known, they're just glad to have another liberal goofball in the Senate. That's why their "shock" seems to have toned down so much over the past few days and transformed into a sense of "awe." Harry Reid now even refers to Burris as "extremely nice."It was all just a show to make the country think they were opposed to corrupt, amoral scenarios such as this, although it is their normal method of conducting business.

The scene has pretty much played out the same way for Leon Panetta and his being named CIA director. Republicans are outraged, as they should be, because the guy has no experience in intelligence and is way too soft in the way he has promised to treat terrorists who might have some information on pending attacks. Democrats pretend to be disappointed also due to his lack of experience in this field, but deep down they're actually excited because now the government will probably free all the captured terrorists in Guantanamo and maybe even give them jobs here in America. Hopefully they're union jobs. I wouldn't want them to not get paid when a plant is shut down. How could they send money back home to fund jihad? I actually think Panetta's technique for getting info out of Muslim terrorists might be to tickle them. Then the rest of the world might not think we're so mean here in America. Isn't that all we want anyway... to be liked by everyone else?

I have to wrap this up now because I'm being pressed by my wife to go get some dinner. Forgive me if it seems less organized than usual. I didn't get a good chance to proofread.

Some Sports Stuff

2009-01-09T12:06:00.005-06:00

College Football

Okay, so Florida won the national championship game last night, but are they undoubtedly the best team in the country and most deserving of this reward? I honestly don't know, and I don't think anyone can say for sure.

I'm well aware of the fact that I'm not making some remarkable revelation here by saying that the BCS is flawed, but something has really got to change with the way it all works. This year laid out an ideal scenario to show just how weak it really is. With an undefeated Utah and three more one-loss teams, it can in no way be truly stated who is the best team in the country. USC and Texas both have legitimate arguments as to why they could claim the title of number one, and Utah may have an even more valid point since they never lost a single game.

Unfortunately, it still looks like things won't be changing anytime soon because this system makes the NCAA a whole lot of money and we know that's all that really matters.

My thoughts on this issue do at least give me one thing in common with PEBO. However, I think his comments are only being made in an effort to make him look more like a guy and not such a little girl. (I've decided to use the term PEBO for the nomenclature of B. Hussein Obama until he is actually inaugurated later this month. Why? I just think it sounds funny.)

There are a couple of things that I do think are irrefutable as the football season comes to a close this year. 1) Tim Tebow is one of the best college football players of all time. Two National Championships and a Heisman Trophy (should also have two of those) look pretty impressive on a player's record. 2) Both Oklahoma and Ohio State were again overrated by the media, and it was proven so as they both lost their respective bowl games again this year.

Now, I'm just wondering when Alabama will claim another national championship from this season as they so love to do when other teams finish with better records and higher rankings.

Major League Baseball

On a disappointing note, it looks like John Smoltz (probably my favorite baseball player of all time) will no longer be playing for the team I've pulled for since childhood. The Atlanta Braves ultimately decided not to offer him a contract that was comparable to other offers he received, so he signed a 1-year deal to become a member of the Boston Red Sox, yesterday. Chipper Jones was also a bit frustrated when he heard the news. Here's a quite from the interview in the link.

We've made so many gambles on players that haven't panned out over the past few years and if there was one guy in that clubhouse that I'm going to gamble a couple of million dollars on, it's going to be that guy.

I can't help but agree with Chipper on that one.

Barkley the Bum

2009-01-07T11:36:00.003-06:00

This guy makes a good point... click here.

Bubble What?

2009-01-03T22:43:00.004-06:00

This past Thursday night, Betty Clair and I went out for a drive to find a new place to try for dinner. What we eventually found was a place called Elena's Cafe east of here in Brentwood. It was a rather unique little restaurant that served a few foreign dishes I didn't recognize or even care to consider. As you could probably guess, BC was a little more adventurous with her meal selection and decided to eat some kind of wrap, while I went with the more traditional dish of chicken alfredo. (I did eat a salad, though).

But neither her wrap or my salad were the most unique parts of the dining experience. The owner there offered us a sample of something interesting called bubble tea. He explained to us that is a new type of drink that originated somewhere overseas (my words, not his) and is growing in popularity here in America. There are a few different versions of the drink, but the smoothie was the variety we were given the opportunity to try. I will admit it was very tasty, but I have to point out the most distinct characteristic of these drinks.

Mixed with your drink, be it the smoothie or whatever, are little, gelatinous tapioca bubbles at the bottom of the cup that are apparently meant to be sucked up through the straw. They are about the size of a small marble and, as you can imagine, require rather large straws to transport them from the cup to your mouth. One place here in Nashville that specializes in these drinks is actually called Fat Straw after the utensils needed to enjoy this delicacy.

After enjoying our free sample, we decided to go back and purchase an entire drink to give it a legitimate shot. Our sample was a kiwi smoothie, so we chose the peach smoothie to share on the ride back home. The smoothie part was very delicious, and the bubbles (a.k.a. pearls) were kind of fun to suck up and chew on like gummy bears. There did seem to be too many of them in our drink, though, as it became almost tedious to chew enough bubbles just so we could savor the drink itself. Maybe he was just trying to make our first experience with bubble tea really fun.

To be honest, I did rather enjoy the drink. I am definitely planning on going back to Elena's to try another one sometime soon. I'll probably just ask him to go easy on the bubbles this time, though.

Side Note: I am probably way behind on this phenomenon, but it was new to me... so don't make fun! At least I was trying something new.

Side Note #2: Check out what I was able to get early on Wednesday because Kroger doesn't know how to wait until the release date, i.e., January 6! Very Cool!

New Links Added

2009-01-01T15:44:00.007-06:00

I added a couple of new sites to my list of "Sites I Visit on a Regular Basis." See them? Over there on the right ---->

The first one deals with global warming. It's listed under Dr. Roy Spencer. It contains a blog, some articles, and other information. His blog post from today is pretty funny.

I also added a link to Macho Sauce Productions. I check this one regularly to see if there is anything new to watch. It's a site made by Alfonzo Rachel and contains a lot of his videos that address various political and religious topics. The video work seems a bit amateur, but he makes a lot of good points if you take the time to listen.

I also put up a new survey that I stole from Laura Ingraham's site. Be sure to vote in mine! It's also over there on the right. ---->

Hope you enjoy!

Happy New Year!

The Talents of a Nose

2008-12-31T23:49:00.009-06:00

Oh, the things I am yet to learn about my wife...

Yesterday, I made a rather compelling discovery. While sitting at the Christmas tree recycling site waiting on the tow truck driver, I learned that Betty Clair's nose is able to laugh. Yes, you read that correctly, I said her nose is able to laugh.

I've already known for a few years that her nose has the ability to show signs of aggression when agitated. When she becomes angry or upset (usually due to me) her nostrils will form into a flared shape and typically be held in that position for 2-3 seconds at a time before relaxing briefly and then flaring again. I often envision little puffs of smoke drifting from her nares when this happens. If I let her know what I'm picturing it often leads to more prolonged flares.

But back to the laughing part...

While waiting on the tow truck driver, we were engaged in an enjoyable discussion about the types of people dropping off trees, guessing what they did for a living, and contemplating whether they were able to decorate a pretty tree. This exchange was humorous and entertaining for both of us, but I noticed that Betty Clair was especially enthralled by our chosen topic, even so much that her nose was producing rapid gyrations with every hearty laugh she gave. Somehow, this is a phenomenon I have never noticed before. Furthermore, when I pointed it out to her, it caused me to laugh harder which caused her to laugh harder and led to more nose gyrations. I'm sure all our fellow recyclers were quite puzzled as to what could be going on in a broke-down Ranger in below freezing temperatures that was so amusing. Looking back, I'm kind of wondering myself.

If you want an update on the broke-down truck, it goes as follows:

Yesterday, we drove a mile or so down the road to get rid of our Christmas tree now that its purpose has been fulfilled. After tossing my Christmas tree on top of the recycling pile and not next to it (as anyone who has ever piled limbs before knows is appropriate), I put the ol' Ranger back in gear and turned around to head back home. After only an estimated 1.6 seconds into the turn, however, I heard a popping sound as if running over a plastic coke bottle and then noticed a sweet-smelling smoke emerging from under the hood. I immediately parked it, shut off the engine, and proceeded to call the mechanic who sent out his tow truck driver. After enjoying our hour-long wait in the pick-up (and being told no more than 30 minutes), the tow truck showed up to take us home and haul my truck off to the mechanic. They were able to look at it and told me their first impression is that there is something wrong electrically and can be fixed for around $125. That's not too bad at all, but he also said it may have gotten hotter than I realized. I sure hope not, but it sure seems hard to shake the Hatcher curse of endless vehicle problems, so I'l probably be in for a rude awakening on Friday.

Buy Now, Buy Now

2008-12-24T09:47:00.013-06:00

Have you noticed how everybody and their brother are already coming out with Barack Obama commemorative items? Click here, here, here, or here for examples. I have found this phenomenon rather intriguing and have spent some time pondering as to why there is such an abundance of these products. In doing so, I have developed my own theory.

I must first mention that these groups will of course say it is because his election is such a remarkable moment in history and his victory deserves to be memorialized forever. They will say that we must never forget how the rampant racism in America was defeated and we elected a black man to be our leader. I, however, think their motives are not quite so noble.

I believe these items are being pushed with such fervor because, deep down, the sellers know that this is the only period in history when people will be willing to purchase such trinkets. They will never sell very well at any other point because his presidency ultimately will not be remembered very fondly. With unprecedented tax hikes, reckless government spending, and deep cuts in military funding all on the horizon, his policies will prove to be a lasting detriment to the stability and strength of this country. In other words, people won't like him for very long. So, naturally, it makes sense to try to get people to buy as many of these collector's items as possible right now while his appeal and consumer demand are still high.

I don't fault the sellers for encouraging Americans to buy these novelties while they can. I actually applaud their insight on this issue. They are very wise in recognizing that their sales pitch will be unusable in the not too distant future. Their current vigor is actually quite justified. Heck, Obama himself was pretty clever in already writing his autobiography since he won't have very many enthusiastic readers four years from now.

Tuesdays and Thursdays

2008-12-22T12:29:00.005-06:00

As far as I can tell, Tuesdays and Thursdays seem to be the most popular nights in Nashville for any type of programs, games, or other events to take place. Unfortunately, Betty Clair and I work all day nearly every Tuesday and Thursday, so we aren't able to participate in a lot of these things.

For example, last week I was told about a SEC Alumni basketball league at the YMCA. I was very excited about this opportunity to display my short white guy skills for everyone. But to my dismay, all games are scheduled to be played on Tuesday and Thursday nights only.

Just last night, I looked up the schedule for the Nashville Predators and was disappointed to see that all of their upcoming home games are also on Tuesday and Thursday nights.

The Young Auburn Alumni Club here in Nashville also has put a few little shin-digs together for any recent alumni to attend. However, these have all fallen on, you guessed it, Tuesday and Thursday nights. Therefore, we've been able to make it to only one of these events since moving here.

I'm not entirely sure why the trend is to have all events take place on Tuesdays or Thursdays. I suppose these two are generally considered to be the least busy days to begin with. But, since everyone apparently wants to throw their parties and play their games on these days, that point is becoming inapplicable.

I'm well aware that I probably sound a bit whiny, but this trend is a bit annoying. I just want something to take place on a Monday, Wednesday, or Saturday so we will be able to enjoy it like everyone else. This year, I am even going in to work on Christmas Day, which happens to fall on a Thursday. Oh well, I'll just have to deal with it. Like Momma always said... Life ain't fair!

Obama Day

2008-12-19T12:37:00.006-06:00

Betty Clair and I are about to head to Marion, AL for the weekend to spend some time with family. I am very excited about getting to visit Marion, which is located in Perry County, because it was the first county in America to institute a paid holiday in honor of Barack Obama. I will feel truly blessed to be in a town where "the anointed one" is held in such high regard.

As you will see in the link, Perry County is one of the poorest counties in Alabama, but this is no reason to deny Mr. Obama the privilege of being honored in such a way. Though the use of county funds is extremely egregious and irresponsible, Obama is very deserving of this recognition. I am glad the county board is understanding of this fact.

Note: This was written with a WHOLE lot of sarcasm.

Things Definitely will Change...

2008-12-17T22:26:00.005-06:00

...but in no way will it be for the better.

Here is a lovely little example of the "change" we can expect to see with the incoming Obama administration. This is something everyone should be anticipating, that is if you don't want any clingy little burdens in your life.

New Toy

2008-12-17T21:51:00.006-06:00

We got a really cool new toy today! Click the link to see what it is. Don't be jealous, though. If you've been good this year, Santa just might bring you one of your own.

If you are so excited to know what it is and don't want to wait on the link, then I will just tell you. You should learn to be more patient, though. Anyway, Betty Clair and I decided to get a new computer this year as our Christmas present to each other, so we have bought a new iMac. The mall next to my pharmacy has an Apple store, so we went there to get it for the advantage of bringing it home today. We also saw Faith Hill shopping there with one of her children.

This computer is really, really cool. I'm hoping I don't stay up too late tonight playing with it, though. I do still have to show up for work tomorrow at 7:00.

Coming Around a Bit

2008-12-15T22:02:00.005-06:00

After letting it sink in for a while, I am beginning to warm up to the idea of Gene Chizik being the new head coach at Auburn. One comment in particular from one of his former players has helped influence my feelings.

Carlos Rogers, winner of the Jim Thorpe award in 2004, recently said about Coach Chizik,

"With his passion for the game and his commitment to football and his job, I
thought he was the best guy."

That's a pretty strong statement from a guy who probably knows a thing or two about football himself. Apparently, Rogers's time spent as a player under Chizik has convinced him that he is quite capable of being the new leader of the program.

I've also become a little less critical when examining his 5-19 record at Iowa State University. Since ISU is far from being one of the more highly regarded programs in the country, recruiting the most talented kids to play there was probably fairly difficult...especially when you're competing with big names like Texas and Oklahoma. Would Pete Carroll or Urban Meyer have done much better in that situation?

Though his 5-19 record is definitely hard to excuse, he does have the honor of owning both an SEC and a National Championship ring. That alone is pretty admirable. And, yes, I know little Nicky has the same hardware, but he's still suffering from short-man syndrome. Maybe one day, the amazing miracles being produced by stem-cell research will help cure his condition.

Chizik also plans to hit the ground running when it comes to recruiting at Auburn, which is clearly a postive attribute. This should most certainly be a top priority since we have already had several recruits back away from their commitments (seven, I think). Hopefully, his vigor and enthusiasm for this aspect of the job will help encourage other athletes around the South that Auburn will be the best place to go to school and play football.

I understand that I am probably still in the minority with my feelings, but I think once fans realize that players themselves are pleased with his hiring, attitudes may begin to change. I sure hope so, though, because the negative sentiment being broadcast by the fans right now is surely not helping the program.

Side Note: Stem-cell research has never produced a cure for any disease, nor has it ever even come close. Unfortunately for little Nicky, it appears he will have to suffer for many years to come.

Some News

2008-12-14T00:26:00.005-06:00

Today, we had to make our way down to Alabama again for another wedding. One of Betty Clair's sorority sisters, Cassi Rhodes (now Cassi Smola), was getting married during her Christmas break from medical school at UAB. The ceremony took place in Birmingham, so the dirve actually wasn't too terrible.

Right before walking in the church, I also learned that Auburn has now hired Gene Chizik as the new football coach. Although I'm honestly not very excited about the move, I am relieved to see this process at last come to an end. While Chizik was successful during his previous years spent in Auburn as the defensive coordinator, he has run into tougher times as the head coach at Iowa State. In his two years there, the team has posted an abysmal overall record of 5-19. In my opinion, there were several other candidates with better resumes (Turner Gill), but I will try not to complain and support the path that our athletic department has decided to follow. I'm not sure how easy that will be though.

The most exciting part of the day happened during the ride back to Nashville tonight. We had the pleasure of seeing seven, yes seven, shooting stars! I had only seen three in my life before tonight, so it was an amazing thing to see seven of them in such a short span. I'm pretty sure I actually saw ten, but some of them were not quite as clear. I guess this is what would technically be called a "meteor shower," but my astronomy knowledge is not sufficient enough to know for sure. Nevertheless, it was a pretty impressive thing to witness.

Got to sleep now. Early service and work tomorrow.

Coach __________

2008-12-11T18:59:00.004-06:00

It is actually comical how many and how quickly rumors have spread about who the new head coach at Auburn will be. Currently, I think there have been 7 candidates interviewed for the position, and many more have been identified in various news stories.

I just read on a website where reporters were waiting at the small airport in Auburn tonight to see who got off a plane that came from Texas. There have been stories that Steve Spurrier was spotted on campus by students several times. I'm just waiting on the next tale to be that the legendary Vince Lombardi has been reincarnated and wants to lead our team.

Over the past week, I've probably spent way too much of my own time keeping up with all the updates. Unfortunately, we are still without a coach, but it appears that may be changing soon. I sure hope so. This needs to come to an end so I can do more productive things with my time.

Friends in Low Places

2008-12-11T11:31:00.014-06:00

In regard to the controversy surrounding Illinois Governor Blagojevich and the now vacant Senate seat in Illinois, B. Hussein Obama earlier this week said, "I had no contact with the governor or his office and so we were not, I was not, aware of what was happening."

Okay, fair enough.

However, there is another statement out there. On November 23, senior Obama advisor David Axelrod said, "I know he's talked to the governor and there are a whole range of names many of which have surfaced, and I think he has a fondness for a lot of them."

Hmm... it sounds like the well-oiled Obama machine didn't quite have their stories prepared on this one. Since these statements so obviously contradict one another, who could be telling the truth and who is the liar?

For me, it is rather hard to imagine that Obama has had "no contact" at all with the corrupt Illinois governor about the Senate opening. So, yes, if that is true then he would be the liar. He definitely has a lot to gain personally if he can have some influence over who is chosen to fill his old seat. A Senator who agrees with him politically could always be counted on to vote the way Obama wants him to on any issue that comes before Congress. It's only natural that he would let his opinion be known to the governor so he could have this advantage for the next four years.

Even if you want to give Mr. Obama the benefit of the doubt and say that his advisor is the liar, it is still his administration that is engaging in the policies of deceit, and doing so before they even set foot in the White House. It's scary to imagine what they might try to do when they actually are in power. I just got a chill!

At least some of the dirty dealings of other Democrats are finally being revealed, though. Since the mainstream media and the Democratic party are focusing all their efforts on protecting the precious president-elect, we may be able to figure out what some of the others are doing in their spare time.

Dinesh is My Homeboy

2008-12-10T12:39:00.004-06:00

During the downpour yesterday, my boredom eventually overcame my unwillingness to deal with the weather and I made a trip down to Books-A-Million to purchase my third Dinesh D'Souza book. The two I have most recently read are Ronald Reagan: How an Ordinary Man Became an Extraordinary Leader and Letters to a Young Conservative. While there, I also decided to buy the George Orwell classic, Animal Farm. I felt I needed to read it again since it is a frequently used reference in other books I've recently finished and I don't remember much of it from the mandated reading of it in high school (quick read-only a few hours yesterday evening).

The D'Souza book I purchased yesterday is titled What's So Great About Chrisitanity. I'm really looking forward to this one. It's a little longer than the other two I've read, but I have plenty of spare time to devote to finishing it.

Here's a short review from Rev. Robert H. Schuller:

“With scholarship and eloquence that reminds me of C. S. Lewis, Dinesh D’Souza addresses the urgent questions of our time, such as ‘Is Christianity believable in the face of the discoveries of modern science and modern scholarship?’ His answer is a resounding yes. More than a decisive refutation of atheist attacks, this is a powerful, affirming, genuinely exciting argument for Christianity. You may want to carry this one around with you.”

As you can tell, this is a book I will probably greatly enjoy. I'll let you know what I think when I finish.

Now it's off to do some Christmas shopping with the wife. Oh, joy!

Baby, It's Cold Outside

2008-12-09T13:36:00.010-06:00

The weather here today is pretty miserable, as it has been pretty much every day since early November. The only amount of time I can bear to spend outside is the few seconds it takes me to run from my truck to the comfort a heated building. On most mornings, I am forced to scrape the ice off my windshield so I can drive to work with chattering teeth until my car warms up. The drive home is usually just more of the same. This tends to get old pretty quick.

It makes me wish Al Gore was right in what he has to say about this whole climate change theory. I actually want global warming! Unfortunately, it just ain't happening.

Just for fun, though, let's assume Mr. Gore and the global warming alarmists are correct in their warnings of impending doom from slightly warmer global temperatures. Would that really be such a bad thing? If the average temperature in Minnesota or Maine warmed a few degrees, would you hear many complaints? I think that the residents of these states would be very welcoming of this change. I definitely would if I lived there.

As another positive effect, warmer temperatures globally would also vastly increase the amount of land worldwide that is able to produce sustainable agriculture. This could help with the tragic issue of world hunger, and I'm sure that no liberal wants to oppose feeding the less fortunate. This should be their sentiment, however there's not as much money to be made fighting for that cause...even if it is far more noble and worthwhile.

As I finish writing this, Fox News just showed a meeting of Obama, Biden and Gore discussing the crisis of "climate change." It is very tragic that our new leaders have decided to take advice from this manipulative clown. In so doing, they are displaying either ignorance or avoidance of the truth on this matter. Global warming is not happening, and there is no real, unbiased science to prove it is true. All major studies on this idea are based on skewed and biased data and can be easily refuted with actual scientific facts. America is getting scammed and doesn't even know it.

Now, I think I'm going to crank my truck and let it warm up before I brave the weather and head out for the day. Wasting fossil fuels gives me such a "warm" feeling.

Note: The above picture is not from our time here in Nashville. It is from one of my escapades with Brad Long, Alethea Law, and Alex Gomes while we were exploring the Southwest and learning a little about drugs and eyeballs. I just like it and wanted to add a picture of something "cold" to this post.

Getting Priorities Straight

2008-12-06T21:47:00.008-06:00

As you may know, the Auburn University football program is currently without a head coach. After a fairly successful 10-year stint on the Plains, Coach Tuberville decided to resign after posting a disappointing 5-7 record this season. There were also several other coaches in the country who either resigned or were terminated at the end of the season including, most notably, Mississippi State's Sylvester Croom.

The reason Croom's termination is worth mentioning specifically is that his firing caused some in the media to reignite the "controversy" over the insufficient number of blacks who are employed as head coaches at major collegiate programs.

When I first saw the announcement being made on tv, the commentators were becoming hysterical and nearly foaming at the mouth as they threw out statistics about how few black coaches there are compared to black players. Their indignation over this apparently tragic dilemma was made obvious by their gross displays of pity being laid on the black man for not having the same advantages as the white man does in this job market.

Their assumption, however, is completely untrue.

This issue is something that should never even be mentioned in the first place due to the baseless reasoning used to support it. It's not as if any program is intentionally avoiding hiring a black guy to lead their team. If a coach could win games and be a good ambassador for the program, most institutions wouldn't care if he was black, white, green or even polka-dotted. Of course the media is fully aware of this fact, but they wouldn't have any pot to stir if they were to just admit this.

As a matter of fact, the black head coach at Buffalo, Turner Gill, has won games and made considerable improvements to the program he inherited at that school. As a result, he is receiving vast amounts of interest from other more historically prestigious schools around the country, including Auburn University. These schools don't seem to care what color his skin is. They just want a good coach, and he has proven to be just that so far.

Would I have a problem with Auburn hiring a black guy as the head football coach? Not at all! Would most football fans have a problem with a black man holding this position? I seriously doubt it. Would they or I have drawbacks if he didn't win games or run a clean program? Of course we would. I wouldn't care if E.T. was our coach if he produced results in the win column and encouraged kids to graduate. I can't help but feel most fans, alumni, and administrators feel the same way on this issue.

Side Note: Turner Gill is currently my personal favorite to fill the vacancy at Auburn. His record at Buffalo is probably proof enough, but I also like his comments in this video (especially at 2:13).

The Juice is No Longer Loose

2008-12-05T11:59:00.009-06:00

I am so pleased right now. Finally, O.J. Simpson will have to actually pay for a crime. Even though it is nowhere nearly as offensive as his other highly publicized escapade, at least he is being punished for something.

As I was watching the sentencing earlier, I also found it very refreshing that the judge described him as "arrogant and ignorant" on national television. The choice of "arrogant" was particularly gratifying. Is there really a better word to describe this man? The fact that he has avoided the imposed penalties for his other previous conviction is, as the judge says, extremely arrogant. Does he really think that just because he was a minority and a former athlete, the rules don't apply to him? Well, if he goes on precedent, he was probably pretty safe in thinking this way. Heck, he was even able write a book about it.

O.J. also decided to make a personal statement in this case, something he didn't do in his past murder trials. If I had not already understood how vain and shallow he really was, he almost could have convinced me that he was remorseful for his actions (possible future in Hollywood?). However, if mudering two people years ago still has never seemed to have any effect on his conscience, why should anyone believe he feels bad about simply trying to steal some sports memorabilia?

On a somewhat related note, I was a little saddened to see all the ignorant, race-baiting O.J. defenders standing outside the courthouse with signs saying things like, "Free O.J. You Black Male Haters." I guess once you've already claimed your welfare check on the first of the month, you have nothing better to do than go downtown and play with markers. They probably even received a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts to produce these inspired works. Yeah, you can go ahead and label me as a racist, but do you think these same people would still be making signs if it was John Elway or Curt Schilling on trial? Be honest now!